Who wears the pants?

Recently, somebody commented that they “knew who wore the pants” in our family. (Yes, our family is just the two of us right now.) I struggled to convince him that neither one of us “wears the pants” and that we are a happy couple. It has irked me that I didn’t know what to say to that, so I am going to ramble a little about it here, in hopes that all of you are convinced what a perfect match we are.

Ahem.

I believe “wearing the pants” means that you are the “ruler” of the group, that you provide the impetous for decisions, that you win when there’s an argument, etc. This means that the other person(s) in the relationship are intimidated by the pant-wearer and cowed into obedience in order to keep the peace. Ugh – is that what a marriage is? Is that what women have become? Sometimes I get pretty piping mad at the feminist movement that has trumpeted and trumpeted about women’s rights until they make it absolutely impossible to live with the selfish, I’m more important than thou and I should always get my way creatures that believe it! Don’t get me wrong, I believe women should have equal rights… but that’s not the point here.

What is the point is a real balanced relationship between a husband and wife. The wife loves and supports her husband. The husband loves and encourages his wife. They have common goals and individual goals. They both give up things that don’t fit into their life together. For example, I guess taking a horseback ride across the United States with nothing but a pack mule is a dream I will have to give up, much as I really do want to. You get the idea. When we disagree, we try and think unselfishly about what is best for us, for each other, for our goals. The wife follows the husbands lead. The husband pays close attention to his wife and her needs. We both end up very happy.

Ok, done ranting. We are happy and if anybody wears the pants, it’s Brian, the love of my life.