Warning: may come across as snooty, snotty, accusatory and a waste of time.
I don’t usually post vents. Usually I think they’re a waste of time. But maybe that’s because I don’t get anything out of other people’s vents. So call this a waste of time if you want and be annoyed that I posted one too. Don’t worry, I won’t get into the habit.
It’s a vent about cell phones and people’s expectations. People seem to think that they should be able to get ahold of you at any second and if you don’t pick up immediately for some reason, you’re being rude! What happened to the good old days when you left a message or called back later if nobody answered? Where is everybody’s patience???
I changed my cell phone’s message a couple weeks ago to let people know that I may not answer my phone in 20 seconds. It came out sounding really snotty. Maybe because I was feeling snotty! 🙂 Here’s the deal. Our home phone is a cell phone. It is our only phone. It is our family phone. Sometimes when it rings, I curse it under my breath because it wakes up Anna. I don’t pick it up when I’m off to pick up the kiddo. Sometimes when it rings I have a poopy diaper in one hand and a messy baby in the other. I don’t pick it up then either. Sometimes I’m talking with somebody, gasp!, in person! Maybe my hands are in the dishwater (no, we don’t have a dishwasher) or I’m driving or I’m at the cashier in Fred Meyers. In all of those circumstances, it is either inconvenient or rude to answer the phone. It is NOT rude to NOT answer the phone!
So please, if you call me, don’t be offended if I don’t pick up right away. DO leave a message. Also, if you want me to call you back, let me know. Sometimes people call to tell me what time something is happening or when they’re coming over or some such nugget of information. That’s nice, right? Well, then they get mad that I didn’t call them back! Why would I call them back when all they did was tell me what time something was at? It’s not that I didn’t WANT to talk to them, I just didn’t know they were expecting it! So if you want me to call you back, tell me so!
Fine print:
If you think I am talking about you in this blog and are feeling admonished, embarrassed, sad, angry, offended, contrite or anything else negative, give yourself the benefit of the doubt; I was probably talking about somebody else. Maybe I was just being theoretical. In any case, don’t feel bad. (Or mad!)
heehee hee. you tell them rachel.
i take care of that whole problem by not telling people i’ll call them back. if i think it’s important then i’ll call back, if the other person thinks it’s important-they’ll call me back. 🙂
they should be so glad that you’re not me. if they’re upset. or whatever.
soooo.
bye!
what does it mean when we leave a message to call and we never hear back? and it happens more than once. i hope it’s not what e says that we’re not important. this is why some of us get hurt feelings.
If you left a message asking us to call back and we didn’t, most likely what happened is we never got the message ’cause our phone is cheap and wacky, or was on vibrate and we didn’t hear it, or got left in the car accidentally. It’s no reason to feel hurt, just call again.
Hmmmmm, you say that you have a wacky phone…, maybe that is why some folks appreciate knowing if you got their nugget of information.., because they don’t know if your phone wacked out or not. I feel compelled to ask if you get a lot of frivolous calls that has made you not want to answer the phone? It may not be the case, but it seems like you make the assumption that the calls you get are going to be unimportant. Do you think that you might not want to dry your hands and answer the phone, because possibly someone you care about is in some sort of a fix, and needs your help? Do you think when YOU call someone that you are always calling at the perfect time that there is no interuption? Yep, phones can be a pain. But they provide a tremendous benefit to ALL of us. You said that you didn’t hear the call for some reason…does that mean you NEVER get the message, because the messages sometimes are never answered. I personally don’t expect everyone to answer their phone everytime. But I like it very much when they do, and say, can I call you back in 5, or 10 or an hour or whenever it needs to be. I like it when folks answer and politely say they just have a couple seconds. Because this indirectly tells me they trust my judgenment to let them know quickly what the call is about and if it can wait. I concur that this cell phone business takes some getting used to, and figuring out what the appropriate etiquette is. But I will tell you that so far, the only aggravating calls I have gotten are the ones that have come, more often I think than you know, that have come from an accidentally called number from your phone. So, may I suggest, with a smile, that you not curse under your breath, but rejoice and be happy for these marvelous little machines that give us far more conveniences than they do inconveniences.
Yah sorry about the accidental phone calls. I don’t know why our phone does that because all the speed dial numbers are triple digits. But we’re trying to lock the phone when not in use now.
You’re right about cell phones being great when somebody is in a fix. I don’t know how many times we’ve needed directions and being able to just call somebody up and get them has been very convenient. And it’s only fair to be available to help others too.
I think the point of this post was that, especially since Anna has been born, we’ve found there are some times when answering phone isn’t top of our priority list. Baby on the changing table, or in the bathtub, or screaming somewhere, are examples I think everyone agrees on. But also if I am talking to someone in person I don’t like interrupting our conversation to answer the phone. This may be the point where we are just different than other people: it’s not rude to NOT answer the phone. It doesn’t mean your call isn’t important, it just means that leaving a message would be better right now. Maybe we are different for thinking this but thats ok. I think we can all still get along.
We have had a couple cases where we didn’t hear the call (for whatever reason) and the phone did not indicate there was a message (for who knows why), perhaps that is what happened in the instances that you are thinking of. Or we could have just plain forgot to call back. Sorry about that.
Finally I’d like to suggest a compromise: we will try to call you back if you leave a message and you try not be offended if we don’t answer right away.
PS Rae “cursing under her breath” is a figure of speech.
PSS If it’s not a very good time when we call you I fully expect you to not answer the phone or as the above person said, ask me to call back later.
for what it’s worth, i have a love/hate relationship with my phone. 🙂