Thankful Thursday – Night of blessings

We had a really rough night last night. And it surprised me these thoughts that ran through my head in the middle of it.

I am thankful that Anna slept through Maggie’s crying. She stirred some, but never woke or complained.

I am thankful for my incredible husband who matched me in determination, encouragement, and love. I love to watch him rocking my babies.

I am thankful for the rain last night. It is one of the most soothing sounds I know. The gurgle of the water in the downspout, the shhhhhhhh and patter of rain on the roof. The occasional plop, plops of larger drops.

I am thankful that our house is warm and safe and that our children are safe… even if they aren’t necessarily happy.

I am thankful that God made my body so perfectly for comforting my daughter. I am thankful that she trusts me so much that my smell and touch tell her she is safe.

I am thankful for how peaceful Maggie was when she went to sleep. Laying on her tummy, her knees pulled up just a little bit and those little hands tucked under her chest. Oh, so beautiful.

I let Maggie nurse when she wanted the night before last and it became clear to me that she nurses for comfort, to put herself back to sleep. I don’t want to get up every hour for that, so we decided to continue enforcing nursing only at 2-3 am and then in the morning after 6:30. She woke up and started crying at 10:30. I nursed her at 1am after two hours of crying. She didn’t even fall asleep when Brian carried her after two hours of crying. She really should have fallen asleep. She relaxed so sweetly when I fed her. She slept until 4am and cried for half an hour. Then I had had enough for anybody and nursed her peacefully to sleep again. She cried just a tiny bit after that and woke up at 7am.

Both Brian and I are exhausted. Maggie probably is too. But even so, it was a night of beauty. An oxymoron. Parenting is the weirdest mixture of blessing and torture I know.