Adoption Update

I can’t remember how much I’ve updated and where we were at last time I shared. In case you didn’t know, we’ve all had some kind of cold bug that has had us down with fevers and sore throats since Friday or so. We seem to be on the mend, but maybe it’s the beautiful morning sunshine just tricking me. Hopefully we really are on the mend and will be bouncing around like normal soon! Poor Maggie… I think I maybe ought to go give her some tylenol and try this nap over again. Be right back.

…

Ok, I think half of that went down her cheek and onto my robe and the rest got swallowed.

Where was I? We decided to step back from the children we were hoping to choose between, one of whom we had expected to bring home. Not an easy decision. Still feeling the whiplash of that one. Decided to look into adopting a little (ADORABLE) boy from Belize in a pilot program of an agency we were unfamiliar with. We are still not confident with the agency that is trying to help him find a family.

Our concerns are:

…The lack of transparency we’ve encountered. It seems like hard work to get detailed information about the inner-working process. Like the actual names of their contacts, the names of the people they’re working with, exactly what and who and when and how. I want to know EVERY piece of this puzzle, not just the parts they think an adoptive family needs to know.

…The negative reviews we’ve ready from other adoptive families who’ve used this agency. Albeit, this is an agency that works with lots of families and SOME families are bound to have rougher times than others. Mistakes are bound to happen. However, the complaints that concerned us are ones that claimed that the agency was not forthright with them about important details or that claimed that they’d “fallen between the cracks” and not gotten attention. With the program in Belize being a new program, I need to have absolute confidence that our agency will stick with us… and that they are the experts. I’m not convinced that this agency is confident or educated about their own programs. There, I said it. I hope that the little boy who is waiting finds a family. 🙁 If you’re interested, Allison at One World Adoptions would like to bring him home! Jayson’s information can be found in the 0-2 year old waiting children section of reecesrainbow.org. He is healthy and adorable. And waiting.

For awhile, I felt really disoriented and frustrated. From almost choosing a child to bring home to not even having an agency and no idea where to turn next.

Time passed.

One piece of clarity returned. We did have an agency that we trusted. They’d been thoroughly helpful and transparent and educated and had experience. We have found almost no negative reviews of them at all. They are a smaller agency. So we looked up their information and what countries they work with. Then we drafted an email to them again. It said something like this:

If we were to wait for a child in Eastern Europe in the country we have been hoping to adopt from… who is 0-2 years old and has Down Syndrome, how long would the wait be?
What other country programs could we work with, considering our age and travel restrictions?

Answer:
She will check with their attorney/representative in country to get advice on how to answer the first question.
Russia and Ghana are programs we could consider.

Our response:
Great, we’re interested in hearing what it would look like to continue the process in the original country.
We are intimidated by Russia. Both its fairly long travel requirements and some of the in-country process that is stressful (appearing in court, etc.). Russia is also higher cost.
Tell us more about Ghana.

Answer:
Ghana is a pilot (new) program. They have waiting children ages 1-14 with and without special needs, singles and sibling groups. The process takes about a year. Travel is minimal (two very short trips) and we’re encouraged to stay longer than required to get to know the children and culture better. Cost is lower.

So right now we’re researching Ghana. We’re waiting on word about Eastern Europe. And we’re not really considering Russia at this point, although they do have many infants/toddlers with DS waiting.

Maggie is STILL crying. I’ve gone in and tucked her in innumerable times. Being sick really messes with routine. Before getting sick, she ALWAYS rested well right now. I think it may be time to pick her up and try again later. Poor thing. By the way, she was 17 lbs. 4 oz. She is quite skinny. I think that’s about the 5th percentile. As soon as she gets her appetite back after being sick, I am going to do my best to stuff her with yummy, high calorie foods.

Please continue praying for us!