Wednesday

Wed 21 June 2011

I haven’t actually read all of Rachel’s posts so forgive me if I repeat some things.

Yesterday we visited Jordan in the morning for the second time. He was much more interactive and playful. The social worker brought him out in a stroller. We sat on a swinging bench and played with him. He loves to be tickled and has such a big wide mouth laugh, his face lights up like the sun. He loves to touch and be touched. When he was in the stroller we sat him up and he would take my hand and play with it for a long time. Bumping his face against it and waving around. It’s a good game to play because he can’t put his fingers in his mouth when he is holding my hand. His play is simple and repetetive for a two year old, he does things you would expect a baby to do. I expect he would seem somewhat scary or abnormal to some people because he acts younger than he is. But I see a little boy who loves to be played with and loved on and is affectionate back. It’s important to remember that God made Jordan who he is and as much as we hope he will learn and progess quickly when we get him home, we love him just as he is.

They seem to use strollers alot at the orphange. I was surprised when they put him in the stroller to take him from the room we fed him in to his crib. I like to carry my kids and not mess with a stroller as often as I can. Partially because strollers are a pain and partially because I like to carry my kids around and keep them close to me. I wonder if they use the strollers so that they are less likely to drop the kids. I could see that being a policy at government run place.

In the afternoon we napped and then went shopping with Nina. She showed us what to buy to make Musaka and Shopska salad. She is very friendly, giving Rachel a hug and saying, “My Friend!” We went to an internet cafe while she took the groceries home to skype. (and drink more tea, yum!) When we got back to the apartment Nina’s in laws were here and they were all cooking up a storm. Rachel got involved and learned the tricks to making a good Musaka while I talked to Nina’s father in law and watched the kids being silly. Dinner was delicious and it was fascinating to watch a Bulgarian family interacting. Dinner here has a little different protocol then at home. You don’t put all the food on the table at once but bring it out slowly and eat for a long time. We drank a local brandy that is VERY strong and white wine. We laughed a lot as we tried to communicate and share experiences. The kids were hilarious! We made paper airplanes for them. (Added by Rachel: Tiko said, “I am not engineer. But I am secret airplane maker. Do not watch and take my secrets!” Then he proceeded to make a paper airplane, with many furtive glances at Brian and accusing him of stealing his secrets. haha!) They played horsy with Rachel and Nina, did wheelbarrow races and pretended to be a race car (lightning Mcqueen!). We had a great time and I am so glad we got to experience a bit of genuine family life.

Today we see Jordan in the morning and then will probably do a bit of sight seeing. It is a beautiful place we are in and I look forward to seeing more of it. I am also very home sick for my girls. It’s hard to be away from them now and it will hard to go home and leave my son half way around the world. We will come for you as soon as we can Jordan!

Wednesday: by Rachel

Notary visit downtown
Jordan visit: donation, donation receipt, donation thank you, visit, room, staff, laughter
Walk downtown with Tiko: military museum, cathedral, shops, sea gardens, snack, talk of disabilities, market, bus ride home (Not expensive! Very cheap today!)

It’s been a good day today. When I think of how long it is before I am home, the days seem much too long. But if I focus on only one day, then it is not as hard to be away and I even wish I could spend more time with our new friends here. (Nina, Tiko and family)

This morning we were picked up a little earlier and we went downtown to a notary. Finding the right place was interesting… the roads here do not remotely make square blocks. THey are all shapes and sizes! The roads are also very narrow, but that doesn’t stop people from parking all down them. I am glad we were not driving… I would have knocked off a few mirrors at least! Once we were in the right area, Dmitry’s parking job was very impressive. He fit his van into a space that I thought was shorter than the van (parallel parked).

Today we had several documents to sign. Dmitry had read/translated them to us already yesterday. For Jordan, we had a paper to sign accepting his referral and acknowledging that we understand his physical, mental, emotional, etc. condition. We signed a power of attorney that will allow Elena and Chevdar to represent us for adoption proceedings. We signed a document that included a statement that this adoption will be final and never revoked, even if American law allows it. We also prepared and signed the initial documents for adopting Vince. We have NOT made a decision about this, but we got them signed and notarized while we were at the notary to save time. They will give us the documents to bring home/tear up if we decide we are not adopting Vince. We did not have to pay the notary fee, which I was grateful for: it was about $110 equivalent.

Next, we drove to the orphanage for our visit. The notary took a long time, so we got there later… about 10:45. We brought the cash to the orphanage today for the donation. We received a receipt for the money (equivalent to about $1000). We gave them permission to buy whatever is most necessary and urgent for the orphanage. It will likely be diapers, detergent or medicine. Once the purchases are made, they will send a detailed invoice with all purchases and amounts to Elena. Elena will translate it for us and send it to us. We look forward to sharing the details with you!

We stood in the hallway with the accountant, Elena and somebody else and the lady from the orphanage offered her sincere thanks. We told her the money is from our church and she repeated how grateful they are. So, from the other side of the ocean, the other side of the world, a large house of many orphans sends their thanks.

When Jordan was brought to us in a stroller, he was crying. The lady who brought him explained that he had been asleep and she had waken him up for our visit. Awww, poor guy! I wonder if he normally has a nap in the morning every day? I think he naps in the afternoon too… or perhaps he fell asleep this morning because he was extra tired. We don’t know.

How do you comfort a child who does not know a mother? What do you do for a son who really just needs to go back to his crib, but instead is supposed to visit with a couple strangers? I picked him up from the stroller and bounced him as I held him and we all walked outside. He seems to like bouncing and he stopped crying. He was pretty out of sorts for all of our visit, but it was sweet to see our son again and to just spend time with him. His lunch is always at 12pm and they brought ground meat and sauce in a bottle for today. I was surprised when I saw the bottle…. it used to be a vodka bottle! Ha! I guess a glass bottle from vodka is just as useful, but it was a little weird to have baby food in.

He fell asleep as he was eating again. Today was the day we got to see his room. So, I gently carried him to his room, which is just off the play yard where we had been every day! A little girl was crying ignored in her crib, a few other children were asleep, one was falling asleep as she drank a bottle propped up on a blanket, a bigger boy with some unknown special needs was playing with a toy in a large crib… and I laid Jordan down in his. The room is very clean and comfortable. The sheets are clean and there are some toys hooked to different cribs. The cribs are smaller than standard US cribs… which makes sense. Cribs in the US are MUCH bigger than babies and toddlers!!!! 🙂 Our impression was one of a well run, a kindly run home for children.

We have had an interesting development of our understanding of orphanages. We have seen so much that is good about orphanages as an option for orphan care. Here at this baby orphanage, there are good playgrounds, pretty good clothes, there’s healthy food and they are warm and tended. A little girl who has hydrocephalus has had a shunt surgery and Jordan was recently on antibiotics for a cold, so we know they get medical care. We know they are heavily monitored by the government to hold to rules. We found ourselves thinking… this is not a bad place! But you know what? We realized that we have not yet heard any laughter. The children don’t seem to know how to play. They don’t smile at peekaboo. The smiles I have seen have been a response to Chevdar’s smiles and talking with them in Bulgarian. These orphans are hungry for a family…. starving for a family. No amount of food or a roof over your head or kind staff are a replacement for family.

Speaking of the staff, we were greatly impressed with and very grateful for the staff today!!! I think they would agree that the children need families, not just staff. They genuinely love the children and wish for better things for them. (They have not said this, but they don’t need to) When we lay down Jordan, we spoke briefly with a caretaker and we wanted to take a picture of staff who care for Jordan. We want a picture for his memory book. Well, as we were leaving, she called after us and told us to wait… she started rapping on windows and calling people and pretty soon, a whole crowd of caretakers were coming, picking up half-sleeping Jordan and trooping outside for a group photo! They had big smiles for us and were so happy to see us loving Jordan. I danced away from the orphanage today, knowing that these women would be caring for him.

Finally…. whew, this post is long and I am tired! Finally, we left the orphanage about 12:30. We called Tiko, Nina’s father in law, and we were dropped off downtown by the big cathedral. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but Tiko is disabled. His right arm appears to be very affected by cerebral palsy and he has a hard time using his right hand and arm. He took us on a long walk down to the sea, showing us different landmarks along the way, including where his house used to be where he was born, and the house where he grew up until he married. We stopped in the Sea Garden and ate fresh french fries covered with crumbled white cheese (like feta). We talked awhile and he told us how he had been given a wrong medicine when he was very young (a baby?) and it was a near death experience. He could not move his arm from behind his back and he was unable to run or jump. His mother was very proactive, leaving career and everything to care for him. She pushed to have him allowed in “normal school” and he overcame many difficulties, learning to walk better and use his hand much more. He went to college, worked for over 10 years and retired at some point with a pension. When communism fell, his pension has slowly reduced to about $70/month. They get another $500/month from renting their old flat in town. He does not like that he has to struggle… he says he is not “poor” but he wishes he had more. (He and his wife live with their daughter.)

We talked a little about how we love Jordan just how God made him and commented on how so many children with Down Syndrome are aborted in the US, which is a tragedy and travesty. He was quiet for awhile… thinking. (Quiet for Tiko is something! He is a funny, completely unique individual who we are blessed to have met.) Then he said something like, “I cannot imagine somebody coming so far for a child with a problem like this.” He admired that we are doing this, as others have done before. We are only following GOd step by step and we are being blessed so much… it is not something so special about us. I wonder how much social stigma, how much teasing and difficulty he has faced because of his disability. I wonder if our adopting Jordan is a glimpse of a bit of love for him too, a person with a different disability. He did not get put in an orphanage or asylum for the handicapped like so many do here. He knows that a child with a disability… is still a child. I don’t know if he is a Christian, but I know God has purpose for us here… and for Tiko. He has already blessed us so much by being a friend and older brother to us here.

We walked to a market where we bought a few trinkets for people back home and said goodbye to Tiko. We waited at a bus stop for a bus back to our flat. A cab driver tried to get us to hire him, but we didn’t. A minute later, I heard him, speaking in English speak to nobody nice and loud, “Not expensive! Very cheap today!”. We still didn’t hire him.

All is well and I’m going to check the photos now so I will be ready to upload when we eat dinner where there is internet. Love you all and we miss our girls so much! We are very much looking forward to coming home! Family, we would like to make you musaka and shopska salad, show you pictures and talk of our trip. I think a few friends might be interested in joining us too, but I don’t know hard it would be to coordinate? But we are blogging much, so nobody is missing out completely!

Goodnight for now!

Shopska salad:

Making airplanes by secret methods:

Notary office stair door:

The whole troup going outside with groggy Jordan:

Standing up:

Reaching to bang his noisy plastic piece on the ground. (We brought a bit of noisy plastic, which he likes):

Falling asleep as he eats, trying to stare at Mama… and slowly losing the battle:

carrying sleeping toddler to bed:

Jordan in his crib:

Movie 110 (a happy moment)

These will come later when we are somewhere with better internet connection than this restaurant…..

Movie 112 (standing and view of orphanage)

Movie 116 (sleepy giggles!)