Hard to blog

Hi All!

I don’t know why it’s so hard to blog right now! I’ll try typing a little, then I’ll download pictures from my camera and see what I have for ya. 🙂

Jordan’s echo appointment went well. He got nice and drowsy and unafraid with the versed and laid pretty still during the echo. He choked a bit on the versed (liquid) and had a runny nose, so his breathing was pretty awful laying on his back. Choking/coughing every once in awhile. I was very happy when I could pick him up and let things start to clear out. He never complained of hunger the whole time and took a long nap afterwards. He woke up hungry and all is well! His oxygen levels were 100% during the whole echo, but I haven’t heard back what, if anything they found. I imagine he has something small that’s abnormal, but nothing that’s an issue.

The kids especially have had a bout with runny nose and diarrhea. It’s a real pain. SOooooo glad that only one kid is in diapers, though that is more than plenty! 😛 Jordan’s appetite has been very small since this started two weeks ago, so I will start to worry about him if it doesn’t clear up soon. I’m actually holding onto some hope that my morning sickness, which has been kinda rough, will be much reduced once the gas and diarrhea leaves the house. I know – all this poop talk is way too much information!

Speaking of morning sickness, I haven’t been doing much cooking. But this morning I’m feeling a little new life and had a lot of good time yesterday too. I’ve got my monthly grocery list made and my meal list planned but I”m not sure when I’ll get to the grocery store! Either when morning sickness eases or when Brian’s working from home and I can leave Jordan here. He is likely to be the one that starts crying and gets stressed out the soonest when out. Luckily, he should play quietly and happily if I leave him home, which will make things easy on Brian. Sooooo – probably getting food later this week. Cooking from the freezer this week.

I wanted to write a blog post about Jordan being alone in a crowd. When around us, when around friends and family – he doesn’t reach out. He turns his energy inwards and is purposefully alone in a crowd. I love it when he turns his eyes outwards and sees me, reaches to play with me and smiles. But it’s not frequent and I can’t always draw him out. Poor little fella. We are trying to be patient and understanding and loving. We do love him. And we long to know him better. And though sometimes it seems like he’s been a part of the family forever (a good thing) we have to remind ourselves that he’s only been here 2 months… not even! And I haven’t been as intensive or energetic in spending time with him with the morning sickness and with him having only the threshold for interaction that he does. So it’s a patient love and a hopeful love.

I didn’t expect to feel discouraged. I didn’t expect to see my son who has down syndrome and who hasn’t ever been in a family before… struggle. I mean, silly of me! But I guess, I was thinking about the successes and progress and changes that would occur when he got home. I didn’t spend time preparing myself for the times in between changes… you know – most of the time! Jordan DOES do so much that he didn’t before he came here! He’s making progress! And it’s accelerated. But the social bits seem slow and we are so looking forward to getting to know our baby.

And just for the record – I’m really looking forward to him not sucking his fingers quite so much. It’s hard to bond and be physically close to somebody who slimes you and smells like spit. haha

I had another bit in here wondering about his birth and his birth family’s loss… but after thinking it over, we’ve decided it’s too personal about us, about Jordan and about his birth family to be posted on our public blog. Sorry folks. Please keep things you learned here semi private. Thanks!

P.s. Ultrasound on Thursday to find out my due date. Should be about 8 weeks today!

Jordan is learning to feed himself! These are puffs – the only solids he’s allowed to eat right now. 🙂