My sons were born with special needs… their bodies and brains limited and challenged, the roads of their lives difficult and needy. And beautiful.
And my sons were born to rejection, by their families, their friends, their communities and their medical providers. They were born to cruelty and neglect by their government and their caretakers. They were born to pain and abandonment.
And I weep. I weep for the brokenness in their spirits. I weep for the children who died before redemption on earth. I weep for the children suffering this very moment. Being hurt. Being left. It hurts. And I have been begging God to explain why He has permitted it. Permitted the mistreatment of babies and children. The families broken. And not just in orphanages, but for the abused, the refugee, the war-torn, the abducted.
How I found my son when I brought him from his Hell of a home. In better shape physically than many… but that’s not saying much.
Two answers He has given me, though the grief is not less. First is that there is redemption, though not usually in this life. Second is that He also weeps. I am not done asking God for understanding. But I’m here to share what He laid on my heart this morning:
He Weeps
A lament
The baby sleeps in his mother’s womb
And he breathes out life and the baby stirs
Life grows and it’s beautiful.
His dreams for the child include beauty and truth
Life long, bone deep joy and content
Passion and creating and building and LIFE.
But the life he breathes, he knows the future
He know that we’re broken and the word fallen
Evil lives here and He hasn’t yet cured it.
So that life he breathes, so beautiful and strong
Is touched by pain before it is born
There is brokenness here, still in the womb.
The Lord sees beauty in the most broken of creation
Seeing the potential, the sweetness of spirit
He loves every child, no matter… no matter.
He sees the children after their birth
Watches for mothers and fathers with love
Calls on the Church to support the struggling.
And He begins to weep.
He weeps for the cruelty
He weeps for the pain
He weeps for the children
Left in the rain
He weeps for the loss
Of the dreams so perfect
He weeps for the children.
Lord, please come again
Because it hurts
And I cannot fix it
I am too small
Too broken.
We weep.
This simultaneously broke my heart and strengthened it. You are doing amazing work, Rachel. Never underestimate that.
Rachel, that is very beautiful.
You didn’t ask but I feel led to share this with you.
Here is what I was taught about God’s apparent lack of action. Love isn’t love if it is forced. God wants our freely-given, true love so he gave Adam & Eve a choice. Now he steps back and honors mankind’s choice to know good & evil. I believe that he has nothing to do with those parts of life where the evil one comes in like a roaring lion to steal, kill and destroy. This is short for word count and I hope you get the idea. This understanding gives me so much more peace and I believe that it’s right. Love you, girl.