You know that you’ve been pregnant too long when…

You close the car door on your stomach

You catch yourself using your tummy for a table and then wonder… how many times have I done that without thinking?

You don’t know why people look at you funny (or even at all) when you burst out with a quiet ouch when the baby kicks.

The baby doing Tai Chi and step aerobics in your stomach don’t keep you awake anymore.

You are ready to fall asleep at 6:30.

You could take a nap right after breakfast.

You’ve dreamed of giving birth more times than you can count – but something was always not quite right: you gave birth to somebody else’s baby, somebody took your baby to play with it without asking, you gave birth to your dog (sorry, Razzie!), you gave birth to weird crocodile people from another dimension… ok, they get really weird.

You only recognize one color: pink.

Somehow, spending $10 on ONE diaper cover seems totally reasonable but spending $2.69 at Dairy Queen is outrageous.

Ok, so the $2.69 at Dairy Queen was so worth it.

Your husband calls your belly button “your bulls-eye.”

You are afraid to look in the mirror… because there may be stretch marks.

You think that the lady walking behind you sure waddles unladylike… until you realize the reflection you’re watching is yourself.

Nothing sounds like more fun that sorting little pink clothes and updating registry lists.

Your pelvis pops when you cough.

It takes careful maneuvering and two minutes to roll over in bed.

You consider video-taping your belly.

You literally thank God every time you feel that the baby’s hiccups are still down low where they belong (not breech).

You let your husband cook you dinner when he is just home from working all day and you can’t remember what you’ve done that day.

All you think about is babies.