More Adjustment and Advancement

I think my blog has been a little one-sided on the hard things. Sooooo, this blog post is going to be about the things that Jordan has learned and has strengths in!

This might be a little bit scrambled… I’ve got reports on things all over the map to share and don’t have the time to sit and organize this into a concise update. But here we go:

When Jordan first came home, we started to introduce the game peek-a-boo to Jordan. Those first months, it just aggravated him. He didn’t understand and he didn’t like things stuck on his head. Poor fella. We didn’t push it. We tried again now and then and played it with the girls a bit too. As he’s adjusted and been in a home environment, he has learned a LOT about how things work in relationships. He observes us and his big sisters so much now! Awhile back, he started playing peek-a-boo with us. It was usually modified to us covering our face and him reaching up with a big grin to uncover our face by pulling on our hands. We’d drop them with a big peek-a-boo! and a laugh. The new thing: I was putting a rag on his head for peekaboo and he reached up to pull it off (of course). But… then he hesitated. Then snatched it off with a big laugh. I did it again and again he hesitated, playing along with the game. Yay!

Squinting in anticipation as the thrown leaves fall over him…

Just a general update on walking: though his walk is a bit stilted, it is very stable and increasing in speed. He is all over and happy about it! I think his great increase in mobility has really put fuel on the fire for his learning. There is so much he experiences by being in new places, by having control over where he is, and all the things he encounters.

Eye contact has improved. I have noticed that he is more hesitant to give eye contact to strangers than to myself. Good boy! He may play like mad with strangers, but he won’t always give them eye contact. He doesn’t often give me eye contact either, but there are times during the day when he is more likely to be snuggly and intimate. Right after breakfast he likes to come sit on our lap instead of going straight to playing. This is a great time, because his hands are still dry in the morning. 🙂 I love his warm little stubby fingers. So precious! (haha – he won’t like me being all gooey over him when he’s older, so I’ll do it now!)

Speaking of snuggling, that there are times that he wants to snuggle is great improvement. He often wants to be held “just because” and as my two-month old is able to lay and play for longer periods of time, I’m trying to be intentional about giving him random snuggles.

One of the most fun things to watch these days has been his interaction with the big girls. (and yes, we generally refer to Maggie as his big sister even though they’re the same size and he is five months older. He is the developmental age of… oh, I don’t know. Less than a one-year-old, so it is much more appropriate to love on him like our baby, even though he’s in a bigger boy’s body. Anyway, he has been inserting himself into the big girls’ play all.the.time. I often hear the girls yell, “Moooooooooom! Jordan!!!” This means, “Mom, Jordan is getting in the way or ruining our game, so please come get him!” Haha. Not only is his desire to interact teaching him a lot about play, but it has increased the amount of times that the girls play with him too. They play tickle, peek-a-boo, tug-of-war, and all sorts of really basic play. It’s fantastic! And makes my mama heart full.

Anna helping to “break the ice” for Jordan as he experiences cold, wet fall leaves for the first time.

Development milestone: He is REALLY emptying buckets and shelves now. Even the big stuff. The girls are pretty good about intentional play. You know… the toys are in a predictable spot and occasionally even put away afterwards. Jordan is at the “Ha ha! I can carry this thing around! It makes a great sound when I throw it or drop it on the floor! Look at how big this thing is that I’m dragging around” phase. Or, it’s something like that. 😉 That means that there are toys EVERYWHERE. Good stuff!

With regards to eating, he had another really difficult time with eating a month or two back. That has resolved and he is eating predictably again. In the near future, I’ll be posting a blog about the foods I’m making for him, how I make sure he gets a balanced diet (on pureed foods), calorie counting and homemade pediasure. I have a little notebook of stuff I’m working on for that! I had a hard time finding any information about how to make “homemade pediasure” on the internet, so I think other moms who need calorie-boosting drinks but whose insurance doesn’t cover the $1.50 per bottle will appreciate this.

With his favorite toy that he uses to calm down… and which he is upset if other kids play.

His problem-solving has increased a lot since he’s been mobile too. Navigation skills in a home covered in toys is pretty essential! Where one day we could keep him out of something by putting a rope on the floor between him and the no-no, he is happy to lift and shove and sqeeze between sideways all the barriers we put up. (pillows, laundry baskets, toy strollers, etc.) I love to see him motivated and able.

My last blog post said a lot about melt downs and how going out is stressful for Jordan. What I didn’t elaborate on was how all this stress is within the bounds of his ability. To grow, one sometimes needs to push a little bit. Going to the grocery was once really hard for Jordan, because of the lights, the faces, the unfamiliar sounds, etc. However, I don’t have the luxury of a maid or cook, so this was an area I wanted to help him overcome. With many trips, short trips, and the benefit of every shopping trip happening about like the last, grocery trips are just fine for him now. He is not afraid. He does get bored and feels cooped up sometimes and now and then I put him down and go catch him now and then as I shop. 🙂

Enjoying the repetitive gentle bouncing as much as the baby.

His most comfortable places to visit are homes. There is the familiarity of the interior of a home and the absence of restraints/confines in a house that makes him most at ease. (He does not have to stay in one spot, etc.) That’s why Thanksgiving worked so well. Yes, there were lots of people, yes there was lots of noise, yes, it involved a long car ride… but it was in a house with house rules and that made it not scary. I don’t think he was frightened AT ALL at Thanksgiving. He just got overwhelmed. He was having a blast getting tickled and loved on by his extended family… but after a few hours, it was just too much. Isn’t that true for all of us? Anyway, Brian took him on a long walk in the ergo when his meltdown point was reached and he calmed down. Then we pulled our stuff together and said our goodbyes and headed for home… late in the day. It was awesome! He did much better and lasted much longer than I anticipated in such a high energy environment.

A word about favorite toys: He ike things that make a loud or repetitive sound when they are manipulated. These are the only toys he plays appropriately with at this time… because those toys are just meant to be banged on. haha! He bangs on our piano, his little play piano, and another toy with a large button. His favorites play a longer song or have the louder sounds. He has a drum he plays with if we sit with him. Drumsticks are fun for him to (on his own) wander around the house and find out what different things sound like. Last night, Brian had to tell him that he could not bang on Papa’s head. hehe He also likes toys that swing or dangle and especially those that make noise when shaken on the floor during this process. (I think he likes these, because the dangling is a repetitive sort of stimulation… back and forth and back and forth, etc.)

Speaking of banging on Brian’s head, Jordan can now be redirected pretty easily. We do spank his hand for no-nos… it was just the most direct way to communicate. At first, he did not understand and this upset him, so we stopped. (We only tried once or twice and it was clear that he did not understand) But now, we can say no-no and his hand will stop or he will back away from whatever it is. (Dog’s water, baby’s swing, garbage can, etc.) We only have a couple of things that are no-nos, because he hasn’t yet demonstrated that he has the self control to leave things alone without supervision. We will master a few things over time before giving him a whole bunch of rules! We want the bulk of our interactions with him to be POSITIVE and only a few to be negative.

Trying to play with the big kids

One big bonus to being able to indicate undesirable actions, is that some of the stimming behaviors that drove me nuts have decreased a lot. They have been replaced by other stimming behaviors (his stimming didn’t decrease – it just was replaced by more appropriate/safe behaviors). For example, rocking with his head on walls or doors hasn’t happened for a long time and he understands when I tell him no… he’ll turn and do something else instead. (I didn’t want big bald spots on my boy’s head from the rubbing!) Also, rocking so his head banged on something has mostly stopped. I don’t want you to think that I’m always spanking. Mostly I remove him or move him or just use a stern voice. No yelling and rarely spanking. I want to communicate with him; I do not want to scare him.

So, along with all this, we have an experiement coming up. Starting December 3rd, Jordan will be going to pre-school twice a week. It’s 2 1/2 hours and there are therapists there who will work with him. This is very much on a trial basis. Part of the thought process is that an increase in communication skills (which I expect in an inclusive preschool setting plus therapy) will also help with our bonding. We shall see. It will depend on his stress level there and anything else we observe with him. In our two visits to the preschool, he has showed no signs of stress and had a lot of fun wandering around playing with all the toys.

Maggie and Jordan playing (“Be gentle, Maggie!)

Lastly, I wanted to post details here on how Jordan learned to drink from a straw. We tried simply putting a straw in his mouth. Nope. No mouth closure. We tried putting a straw in his mouth with liquid in it (you know how you lift a straw with your finger on the top to hold it in?). He would sometimes close his mouth on the straw and he did enjoy this practice. Then we gave him the straw after that taste… and he would sometimes suck once. Once is not enough to bring the liquid to the top, folks. He was discouraged and gave up. So we gave it a good long break.

Then we got some tools. A cup that we could squeeze liquid up the straw for him (for that first taste) and which has a one-way valve at the bottom of the straw. That one-way valve is wonderful. It keeps the liquid up at the top of the straw for instant reinforcement with the smallest suck. It slows the flow a little, which was good for Jordan’s so-so swallowing coordination. And it also helped him coordinate the whole suck-swallow process, since he can’t accidentally push liquid back down the straw. BTW – even all this didn’t work until we got something he really loved to drink. Pediasure and a juice nectar are things he LOVES and which coat his tongue a little bit for the best flavor blast. 🙂 He now drinks watered down juice, but we only gave him that thick apricot nectar from the big can at first.

Oh – I also got some lip blocks which help him with straw and tongue positioning in his mouth.

Here’s the adaptive drink items we bought and like. I bought one of their honey bears too (which is the similar idea) but didn’t like the one from this website, because the straw kept kinking. Maybe I should cut the straw shorter. Hmm.:
Cup with suctioned lid: ARK’s Sip-Tip® with Select-Flow Valves
Valve: ARK’s Select-Flow Valves
Lip blocks (also good for tongue thrust): ARK’s Lip Blok® (3 Pack of 3/4″)

And that’s all folks!

Feeding therapy gone awry…