Dreamseekers and Company

When my Grandma was getting rid of some furniture when she was moving, I was given a framed copy of “The Prayer of St. Francis”

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

I thought it was beautiful then. But over the last several years as I have been lucky enough to be married and blessed enough to have two children who depend on me… I have found that this prayer describes the purpose in my life that gives me satisfaction. The purpose? To give of myself to others.

Now, before you think I’m very holy… or more likely, that I think I am holy… let me just tell you that I am a normal, sometimes-annoying, sometimes-frustrating, often bossy, imperfect person. I’m not trying to tell you that I have it all together. I’m trying to tell you what it is that gives me the deepest feelings of satisfaction: It’s loving others like God loves me. Now, that just feels good. And right.

I truly am happier when I succeed in joyfully putting others above myself. I feel so useless and empty when I’m without my children. Because I’m without my built-in “need-me’s.” They need me. I am blessed by being able to serve them. And I so very much want Jordan home. To need me. The up-all-nights, the crying, the stress…. totally worth it to know that he is going to have a family for the rest of his life, that frazzled, without sleep and all, we won’t ever abandon our quest to love him.

Go do something for somebody else today. You’ll be glad you did. (But if you fail today, eat chocolate and try again tomorrow.)