Sick in the Summertime

Brian and I knew we were tired. Really tired. We have dragged these last three weeks since our trip like we have never dragged before. And it’s nice to know it wasn’t “just” jet lag.

We have mono. At least, I do. And Brian and I never have successfully gone on a kissing break longer than a few hours, so I’m assuming the mirrored symptoms mean he has it too. The good news? We are over the worst of it.

And I feel tough to have toughed it out.

The doctor said to keep resting lots. She gave me a super-tylenol to help with the swelling in my lymph nodes and sore back. I’m happy to know that as this unseasonable cold, wet weather passes, so will this illness.

We had a memorial service for James yesterday. It was beautiful and I will share with you a little more about it sometime. But not right now. Right now I need to go tell Anna and the little boy who we’re providing respite for this weekend to be quieter. Maggie’s still sleepin’ for her nap.

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I-800 Approved!

Our I-800 with USCIS (US immigration) was approved! Now the paperwork gets mailed overseas and they get to work on their part!

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Family Update – with videos

Well, we were hit with some post-stress, post-travel bug that has had just down ever since we got home two and a half weeks ago. We have had some drainage, some stuffy noses, but mostly just fatigue. Fatigue without many other symptoms. Maybe we have just pushed ourselves for too long and got a bit run down. Maybe it’s just a quiet bug. The weirdest part have been my lymph nodes. I counted seven on each side of the back of my head at one point. Not to mention the ones by my ears and under my jaw. They are all swollen and sore. Yesterday, they changed and got itchy. Something new, hopefully that means I’ll get better soon! Today they are extra hard little knobs.

I confess that the constant fatigue, the startling accumulation of dishes and laundry and the progressively dirty house were starting to worry me. I haven’t brought home my son; why am I struggling? I haven’t been this far behind even after giving birth! And the painful lymph nodes are weird. And the puffy eyes in the morning. Fear has tried to sneak in. What if it’s something serious?

But today has been much better. A young lady came and babysat/housecleaned for me while I housecleaned too. Between the two of us (and Anna and Maggie too), the house is cleaner than it’s been since we disgorged the van with the trail of clutter from our trip. The dishes have even been washed two days in a row! And I might be tired and my neck sore in spots, but I don’t have that mind-deadened blanket of exhaustion hanging on me any more. In short, my hope is returned.

During the times when I have been layed low, I have wondered, “What is God trying to teach me through this?” And it crossed my mind that if I could just figure out what He’s trying to teach us, then I could learn it quick and be done with being sick.

Here are a few things I recognize:
God is my strength.
It is God who makes me able.
The Lord will give and the Lord will take away (even small things)…
and blessed is the name of the Lord!
The insecurities and fears I have about this adoption are no match for God.
If I follow God and seek His will, then I will be able to do what He wants me to do.
And the value of a clean house needs to be put in its place. That’s below my husband and my kids… and even below summertime. We’ve picked blueberries and gone to the park and had fun in the morning before I began to drag every day. The girls didn’t even notice the house was messy.

Funny: Anna asks, “Mom, why do we have to clean the house?”

Ok… my mind is not really running so great right now, just before bedtime. Enjoy the movies! (some may not be here yet – they were taking forever to upload)

Anna helping Maggie on the slide… well, the first time anyway. Maggie didn’t want more help the second time she went down. (See how she folded her arms?):

They were really cute on the 4th of July. This was their first time with little poppers… Maggie didn’t quite get it, which made it all the more cute.:

Maggie on a trampoline at the park… so cute! She is so light (about 20 lbs.) that she doesn’t even really make a dent in the trampoline… or as Anna calls it, the jumpoline:

Something fun and new here: we had a few dollars that I didn’t want to get sucked into the vacuum of the budget… because, you know, we have expenses and savings goals that eat EVERYTHING we throw at them. I looked at Maggie and how fast and crazy she is on her little push bike. And we decided to go to a playgroup for kids who ride Strider bikes. A friend of mind runs the Portland “chapter” of this business and she was happy to have us come for a test drive.

These bikes are two-wheelers with no pedals. That means the kids push with their feet and then lift their feet to glide… if they can balance. They can just stand and walk with the bike between their legs at first. The idea is that kids learn to balance and glide and steer, making it a wonderful pre-bike… a perfect bike to segway into a regular two-wheeler. What’s even better is that it’s small enough for an 18 month old. (Maggie is 21 months old.) This led us to the purchase of TWO glide bikes! Yipes! We have one Strider and one Glide Bike. The Glide Bike is pretty cool – it has a front hand break and different footrests for the advanced glider. The Strider is Maggie’s, the Glide Bike is Anna’s. Well, pretty much. Anna is loving them. Maggie just wants her nice, solid, four-wheeled bike.

Anna on Maggie’s new Strider bike with the seat all the way up:

Maggie on her bike of choice:

Anna on her Glide Bike:

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Why international?

Why should we adopt internationally?

I’ve been asked this question and asked myself this question several times. The answer is: because it makes a very big statement.

There are a couple different lines you can take when thinking about international adoption.
1. There are children here in America that need a family why not them? Especially when overseas adoption is so much more expensive and there is more corruption in other countries…
2. Haven’t these children already lost enough in losing their family? Now you are going to take away their home country and culture? How can you add that tragedy to their life?

I acknowledge both of these as valid points and I have thought a lot about them, but I would like to write about them another time. Here is what I think outweighs them both.

People who adopt internationally cross great distances, spend inhuman amounts of time in airplanes and airports, navigate foreign lands full of people speaking foreign languages with foreign cultures, eating strange food, negotiating government bureaucracies of two countries, spend huge sums of money, risk life, limb, and personal comfort, and separate their own families, for what?

We’re doing it for a little boy named Jordan.

What does that tell you? Maybe that Americans have too much free time and money. Maybe that we are so full of ourselves that we think we can “rescue” him.

What I hope it tells you and what I want to tell every person we meet on this trip and at home is that Jordan is worth it. Every penny, every second I spend on him is worth it. He deserves it.

People drive Hummers and Ferraris to make a statement about their wealth. People get weird piercings and tattoos to make a statement about their non-conformism. People choose clothes, makeup, hair style, jewelery, their house, their spouse, their church and their food at least partially by what statement their decision makes to the rest of the world. My choice was to do something extravagant for an orphan boy half way around the world. God willing, I’m going to make him my son.

The statement I want to make is that every single child deserves a loving family and they deserve extravagant sacrifices if that’s what it takes to make sure they all get one.

I feel something like I did when I was a new father. Instead of watching the miracle of my first daughter growing in her mother’s womb and being born I am watching the miracle of God bringing Jordan to us. I want to stand on top of the world and hold him up and say, “This is my son! Though he was left alone, I chose him and I love him! He is precious and beautiful and deserves my love!”

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The Last Day of our trip

I never blogged the last day of our trip… well, I did, but I never posted it. I remember thinking it’s too long and not very interesting. But I don’t know that I’m going to be able to sit down and rewrite about it better, so here it is!

First, I’d like to commend all of you who have made it through these extremely long blog posts! Short and sweet, I am not! As each day runs into another, this has been my way to personally unload and journal. Today’s post will be extremely long and dull, I expect, as we are not visiting Jordan, but are just sitting in airports with no free internet. I don’t blame you if you don’t read further! 🙂

Yesterday ELena and Chevdar took us to see the largest church in the city. We bought two small candles, following Elena’s example, and lit them with others there. I don’t know the proper significance of lighting the candles… but in a place of holiness and meditation and prayer, it seemed fitting to light them in memory of James. The church was beautiful, with many paintings on the stone walls and ceilings.

Next, we went to the oldest church in the city…. with foundations and pieces dating all the way to Romans in the 4th century! I wish we could have gone underground to the crypt… just seeing the ancient stones in the stairway was amazing. I’m afraid we forgot our camera, so we have no pictures of our own. We got a little free guidebook for the area, so we have a few pictures of these things in there. There was a wedding in progress in the old church! What lucky timing! The priest was chanting his sign-song message and moving some crowns on and off of the bride and grooms heads. There was also a choir, hidden up above that sang at the proper times and it was really beautiful. Being in that church, hearing age-old songs, I felt like I had been taken back in time.

Elena and Chevdar also took us to an art gallery that was displayed in none other than the old palace of the former king and queen of this country! The rooms were grand, and the floors…. I have never walked on squeakier wooden floors. hehe I got in trouble for leaning on the former queen’s piano too! Oops… or, in the right language, Oh-pu! (oopa?) We walked around downtown a bit, seeing where the big theatre is and a few other things (like we saw where the MOJ is).

After a nice tour and an unsuccessful attempt to find bottles and nipples like they use at the orphanage, we were taken back to our hotel. We told them about our decision to only adopt Jordan and they were very kind and understanding. We hope to find a family for this sweet boy as soon as possible! We made plans for the morning and said our farewells with smiles and hugs. Pretty soon, either Brian or I will be back to bring our son home.

We had an ok dinner (didn’t like the meal much, but the pepsi was great! ;-), bought ice cream bars at the grocery and headed back to our room for a little more internet time, reading time and resting time. We are so very ready to be home with our girls. It’s about 12am your time right now as I type… see you in about 18-19 hours!!!!

Let’s see, I will give you our iternerary in Oregon time. We went to bed at 12pm in the afternoon on Saturday. We woke up at 5:30pm and got in the car for the airport at 6pm. (Chevdar came to drive us) We got to our gate with no trouble and rested impatiently for our flight until about 8pm. Our flight landed in Frankfurt, Germany at about 11pm. Our next flight leaves at 4am… after one more layover, we will land in Portland around 6:30pm. I hope my rear end can handle so much time sitting! Agh!

It’s interesting to imagine making this trip with Jordan in tow. It is going to be quite the journey. Besides sleeping and changing diapers and crying in this predominantly adult atmosphere… how in the world are we going to make his meals? I wonder what we’ll do about a stroller and about a carseat. Lots to figure out for next trip. Right now I comfort myself with the idea that maybe it will be Brian enduring the long journey. 🙂

Frankfurt… oh my, what a huge airport! We landed, we taxied for awhile…. then we got on a bus and we were driven several miles. I don’t know how many… or how many airplanes we passed… but we went farther than I expected! After we got out and asked a counter where our gate was, we got on a monorail! Now Brian is resting on the chairs while I type a bit.

Misconceptions about this country in Eastern Europe:

1. Wearing your seatbelt insults the driver.
In truth, it will get you a fine if you do not wear a seatbelt. We were asked to put ours on!
2. People scowl and are unfriendly on the streets.
Ok, so maybe people don’t go around making eye contact and smiling… but I found this very little different from wandering around town in Oregon. We may be tourists and seeing things for the first time, but it’s their work week and most people appeared to have their “commuting to work” face on, if you know what I mean. In every instance where we were meeting people personally or going to their homes, the hospitality has been generous and the faces kind and friendly. 🙂
3. People in Europe dress more formally, not wearing t-shirts or tennis shoes.
I don’t know about tennis shoes, because it was so hot that most people had sandals on, but the formal dress idea was totally off! Apparently, see-through t-shirts are very much in style. We’ve seen enough underclothes for a lifetime. So if you are packing for here, t-shirts are fine, capris are fine, flip-flops are fine. I am glad that I was wearing clean clothes that aren’t ratty… I wanted to make a nice impression on the staff and other people we met.
4. People here drive very fast and dangerously.
I was so grateful when we discovered that Dmitry, our driver, is a conservative driver. On good roads, we drove the speed limit, 100 km/h which is 60 mph. I don’t think we exceeded that speed ever. Sometimes we passed, but he almost always left plenty of room. HOWEVER, some of the other drivers…. wow. They passed at high speeds towards oncoming traffic, sometimes squeezing back into their own lane with about as much room as I need between cars when I am parking. Jeepers. Making the other lane drive on the shoulder is pretty common.

Useful things to know:

1. Bathrooms.
Look for a door that says WC. Also keep a lookout for the girl/guy pictures, because there are usually at least two doors between the public area and the toilet. Sinks spring up for washing your hands in unexpected places between the first door and the toilet door. (Example – walk through a door that says WC. See a sink and two more doors. Try to pick the one that is the right gender. There is another room and sink here and another door. Go through that door and you see one or more bathroom stalls. I only saw one “squatty potty.” But do keep tissues in your purse – you may not find toilet paper.

2. How to find an address.
Don’t waste your time trying to find street signs. Many times, there are none. Take a look at a google map, note that zero streets run at 90 degree angles. Then, drive to the general vicinity of the location you are trying to find and flag a taxi. It’ll be only a dollar or two and they will show you what you’re looking for.

3. How to order dinner, or make any other decision.
Talk about it a lot. Then some more. I’m still not sure what all was being talked about, but it seemed important to making decisions about the meal.

4. How to eat a meal when you aren’t in a hurry.
First of all, don’t be in a hurry. Our first dinner here took an hour or two for my dish to come.You order your food in different portions. A salad, a bread, a soup, a main dish… we usually bought two different types of food per meal. (Usually a salad and a main dish) The main dishes are fairly small. Eating together is about being together. Just relax and go with the flow, talking about food and other things as the food is brought out one or two plates at a time (some people get their food right away, others have to wait awhile.).

Blah blah blah blah – ciao.

From our last visit:

Looking down at part of the garden from our apartment:

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