Health & Parenting

I have sooooo much I want to post! But I am feeling swamped with many, many things I want to do, including normal home things! Today we’re going to pick strawberries, get Razzie’s nails trimmed, buy fireworks, go to the bank, wash the dishes, make dinner, make a phone call, maybe go to a one-man-band at the library…. and maybe blog and read and rest? We are doing good at sleeping at night and staying awake in the daytime. Mornings are alert but the last couple days are hard to remember through a fog. Afternoons and evenings are harder. Just a few more days, though and jet lag will be history.

I wanted to make some notes on Jordani while they are more fresh on my mind.

Watery eyes – both his eyes seem to have intermittent drainage problems. His eyes were clear and the skin not puffy, but this is noted in his health file and we observed his eyes “crying” during visits. Usually, just one eye at a time.

Sucking fingers – the space between his fingers is red and raw with sores from sucking on his fingers too much. Putting socks on his hands looks like it will be a good temporary solution, since he didn’t try to take them off for over an hour during a visit. We expect him to suck on his fingers a lot during the first month or so of transition in our home. After the fear recedes and he becomes more familiar, we expect this behavior to become a bedtime-only behavior… we’ll see. I hope he doesn’t have any fungus issues on his hands.

Eating/texture – Dancho, with his mouth open, seems to have a very shallow mouth/palette. Maybe it just looks this way, because my girls have a very narrow top palette and his is wide. His bottle nipple rests all the way back, right in his throat when he eats and he has no concept of using his tongue to move foods around his mouth. When we put a baby puff snack in his mouth he stuck his tongue out and tried to get it off. When we pushed it further back in his mouth, he stuck his fingers in his mouth to help him make the swallowing motion and he did “eat” them. I think our first line of action on his untrained tongue and mouth will be to intermittently throughout the day pop a small, sweet snack or liquid into his mouth and let him learn to manipulate it. I think Anna will love to be his snack-giver… especially if she gets to eat some of it.
We are going to try and find a long nipple for his bottles like they use at the orphanage, so that we have a fallback… a way that is familiar for him to eat so that he at least is getting his regular meals. We don’t want to shock him into a feeding strike if we can help it.

He does not sound like he is aspirating liquids. I hope this is the case! 🙂

Crawling/walking: I don’t think this will be an issue. Being around siblings on a clean floor with random toys strewn about… I think the natural interaction every day with us will be all the motivation he needs to become proficient in these.

Therapy – Unless we have health concerns, we will not be putting Jordan into therapy for some time. His daily social health and family integration will be plenty for him to be doing for the first months or year. At his age, simple guided play will be plenty of therapy. We may consult a therapist (or friend) to get ideas on helpful play for kids with Down Syndrome. First, though, he needs to learn a little cause and effect (mimicking with Mama), object permanence (peek a boo!), trust, safety, and family.

Ok, there’s more, I’m sure – but it’s time to dress the kids for berry picking!

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Missing

Tonight grief for James hit me unexpectedly as I was cleaning the kitchen “stuff” counter. I found the church bag with his name on it under a pile of yarn. I carried it to the box where his photo album, his baby book and his crib toy were piled. These were supposed to be his. He was supposed to be ours.

I’m not ready to take his towel down yet.

Next week is his birthday. He would have turned two years old. We’re going to celebrate his birthday, write him letters and plant a tree in memory of him at my parent’s house (where I hope they will be living for a long time). We need to choose a type of tree… I think we will be choosing a fruit tree that we can enjoy the fruit off of every summer around his birthday. I only wish we could have him with us.

*tears*

We are so, so glad to be home with our daughters. They did really well at my parents’ house and had a wonderful time there. But we are so very ready to be a family again and not separate any more! Thank you so much Mom, Dad, Melissa and Austin for opening your doors to our girls! We look forward to spending time with you as a family again soon.

Little Dancho is our perfect little guy and we’re so looking forward to bringing him home. For now, we are recovering from our trip and soaking in the memories of our time with him.

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Home Sweet Home

Home, home, oh home sweet home. It’s so good to be here. It’s so good to be with my daughters. It’s so good to be off airplanes. I am thinking I will try and convince Brian to pick up Jordan. I can wait just one week longer and I don’t want to do those planes again. Only for you, sweet boy!

Blogs will come. Not sure exactly when, but they will!

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Friday/Saturday – update on Vinnie

It’s almost noon here and Brian is reading Harry Potter while I upload videos of Vinnie to email to the Reece’s Rainbow team. (Hopefully, you will see an update from our visit with Vinnie on his profile here: http://reecesrainbow.org/vinnie-21-6 I’m sorry, but I can’t share his videos here.

After falling in love with him, after much prayer and tears… we are not going to be bringing this sweet little boy home with us. Back when we committed to James and then to Jordan, we very clearly felt God’s guidance to both of those boys. We had no idea how we would manage life in our house with four very young people, but we had God’s reassurance that this was His will and he would make it possible. Now that He has taken James home, He has not told us to bring home Vinnie. What we hear when we ask God if we can bring home Vinnie is, “You can trust him to Me.”

So it’s with desperate faith that God will be with Vinnie, that we are leaving without committing to him. It is our deepest desire to see Vinnie find his mother and father. We hope that the videos and the update we received from the orphanage staff and pediatrician will help a family be able to make the leap for him. We have no doubt that he would make a fantastic son. He is quite healthy, active, and eating well. He is very small, but that is perhaps because he reacts to lactose (with constipation) but is a good eater just the same. Please, somebody, come for Vinnie!

….

And now, I’ll try to update you on the happenings of Friday and Saturday. These get harder to write as I get closer to home. All I want is to climb on that horrid airplane and get back home. We are ready for home-cooked food. We are ready for our own beds and shower. We are ready to be where English is the primary language. We are ready to be done traveling. More than anything, though, we need to be back with our girls.

Yesterday morning we packed up early and ate a little toast and jam. Or, I did anyway. Brian had thrown up for a few hours and finally fell asleep. He woke up feeling not so great, but without a fever and hasn’t had a fever or thrown up since. Hopefully within a few days he’ll be back to normal, but we are sooooo grateful that he is doing as well as he is!

We said our farewells to Nina and to Tiko as well over the phone. We got to see Jordan around 8am and he was bright eyed and chipper, looking like a little boy who had just gotten up from a good night’s rest. We visited for about half an hour and then it was time to say goodbye. They let me carry him to his crib, where I leaned over and told him, “Ciao, Dancho.” He was content to just sit as I began to cry and hurried away.

Everybody was very kind, telling me not to cry and letting us know that this is one of the biggest and best orphanages in the country. They said that his photo album will be moved near his crib (hope it makes it into the crib someday) and his doggy will stay in the crib. The orphanage staff like that we brought the doggy and think it is a good idea for helping him transition.

We piled in the van and began the 7ish hour drive to Vinnie’s orphanage. It was between 90 and 100 degrees in Vinnie’s city when we arrived that afternoon around 4pm. (long drive plus lunch plus potty stops) Brian and I had been able to nap a little in the car. We waited in the hot city for awhile until Chevdar and Elena came back out. They had taken several videos… and they had also told the orphanage staff that we were Vinnie’s mama and papa and at least one looked out at us.

If I haven’t been clear… it has been incredibly hard to NOT be bringing this little boy home. Nothing will comfort my heart like seeing him with a family. For now, I focus on our Jordan and I lean on God’s love for Vinnie, which is even greater than mine.

From there, we finished the drive back to the capital, arriving around 6:30pm. We checked in, unloaded, Skyped with the girls and Brian’s mom and talked and prayed over Vinnie again until we were sure that we are making the right decision. The only thing I dread now, is telling them that we are not his family and for the disappointment they will feel at the orphanage for him.

We are committing to help raise $4000 or more to help Vinnie’s family bring him home. $4000 is how much money we would have had to come up with to adopt Vinnie ourselves (although that would have been reimbursed to a point with the federal adoption tax credit.). If our love for Vinnie inspires you to sponsor his adoption grant at Reece’s Rainbow, please let us know. We will be setting up a chipin on our blog at some point, because we don’t have the $4000 to donate already. Again, his Reece’s Rainbow page is http://reecesrainbow.org/vinnie-21-6

We love you all. We’ll be taking a walk around the city today and trying to catch up a bit. The day is passing by quickly. We look forward to being home with you all!

Goodbye view:

Goodbye sweet boy:

Until this winter, my son:

Goodbye, endless fields of sunflowers:

Goodbye, reckless passing cars:

Future blog posts:
Misconception about seatbelts, smiling, nodding and clothing here.
How to eat a meal.
Children and belching.
Number of words necessary.
How to find things.
And drivers, and their lifespans.

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Friday

After about 12 hours we are settled in a hotel. It broke my heart this morning to kiss Jordan on the forehead and say, “Ciao Dancho” and walk away. Everybody has been very sweet and before long we’ll bring our son home. It’s late, we’re tired and more later. Have fun picking strawberries, Anna! We will hurry home as fast as we can. I can’t wait to be taking care of you and Maggie again.

~Rachel

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