note: videos from yesterday are added on yesterday’s blog. The one of Jordan giggling is especially sweet.
We skyped with the girls last night (their Wednesday morning) and they seemed to be doing well. This whole trip has been SO much easier, because we have been able to see their faces and greet them in their morning. Seeing pictures of them, seeing the rest of my family too, seeing that they are well… this has made the time apart much easier.
Today is a much more relaxed day, with only our visit this morning in the plan. That’s a good thing too, because halfway through our visit with Jordan this morning, Brian was feeling very sick. He is laying under a sheet (which shouldn’t be necessary in our warm room) resting and with a fever. He felt nauseous on the short drive back to our flat. We brought enough advil, I think, to help him for the next few days… please pray for him. Pray for rest, for the illness to run a quick course, for me to not get sick and above all, for God’s will to be done in our lives.
This morning, after a breakfast of bread and jelly and showers, we talked more about adopting Vince. We will share our decision with you when we are more certain. The heaviest weights on the scale are these:
Seeing Jordan and imagining and observing the everyday care he is going to need… and thinking about having enough energy for him and for our girls… it seems wisest to not take on another child. Also, Jordan alone is a great joy and for him alone our trip here has been worthwhile. We are so eager to bring him home to be our son for the rest of our lives.
On the other end of the scale, seemingly impossible obstacles have been removed so that the path is clear to give a second child a family. How can we turn away from a child with no family? We know we would love him just as much as Jordan and that if we adopt him, then we would make a way.
We have been praying that God would give us peace with our decision and that we would not make our decision out of fear (fear of what could happen to him if he’s not adopted, fear of what it would be like in our family if we did.). We are leaning very heavily on the TRUTH that GOd knows Vince, God loves him, and whether he comes home with us or not, he is not abandoned by God. At the very least, we will be doing everything we can to find him a family.
Our visit this morning was nice. We got there around 9:45 and saw him soon. It’s nice to know where his room is now! He was in shorts and a tshirt today, because it is very hot… even in the shade. He has lots of little red spots on both of his thighs, with some bruising around them. It looks like they are from shots… I wonder if he has been getting antibiotics by shot several times a day for a few days? (He has been on a course of antibiotics for a cold.) Poor little guy!
He wanted to be down today and stood for awhile and walked holding our hands and even just one hand for a bit! With motivation and practice, he will walk soon. After awhile of interacting (he doesn’t “play” with toys much, or respond to his name or even tapping him to get his interest, but you can still play with him and interact. It’s hard to explain… but I think he will learn to play when he is in a family with no problem.)…. where was I?
After awhile of playing, he began to get tired and cranky. This was probably our longest visit yet. We put socks on his hands and that helped keep his fingers out of his mouth and he liked having his feet on the scratchy dry ground. And guess what?! He even crawled a bit! He has the coordination and strength to crawl where he wants. He doesn’t crawl much, because he doesn’t want to go places. I get the feeling that a few months of watching siblings will open up his world and before long we’ll have to tell him “no.” 🙂
Anyway, he began to get cranky and whine no matter what we tried. I began to bounce him while holding him on my knee and after five minutes of this, he fell asleep. He slept for 45 minutes, with much twitching and half-waking… but sleep just the same. All children are sweet when they sleep, but Jordan is particularly adorable. He woke up about ten minutes before lunch time and mostly stayed still, sucking on his fingers and looking drowsy. I’m glad he let me continue to hold him. He loved his lunch today – chicken and cabbage soup… and ate it much faster than the last few days. He cried when it was gone and I wished we could give him more. We put a little water in the bottle, but after a few gulps, he cried, disappointed it wasn’t more lunch.
We carried him back to his room and waved goodbye to a kind caretaker who wished us well.
We are home now. Brian is sleeping… first under the sheets and now too hot for them. 🙁 I am resting and reading and typing up the blog of the day.
Tomorrow will be a different program. We’ll say our farewells to our hostess first thing and pay her as well. Our last visit with Dani (Donny) will be from 8-8:30am. Then we will have to tell him goodbye for about the next six months. We’ll head to the city where Vinnie’s orphanage is next, which is about a 7 hour drive away. Elena or Chevdar will visit with him, take photos and ask questions. Then we will drive another two hours or so to our hotel near the airport. We’ll have all day there Saturday and fly out on Sunday morning. I wonder if we will sleep on the airplane or not? I wonder if we will drive straight home from the airport with the girls or go to my parents for that night? I am trying not to worry that we will make our last flight. Our very last flight is due to leave just 1 hour and 20 minutes after our international flight takes off. Please pray that we make the connection!
Time for pictures!
Standing, sucking on his fingers:
Who is taking whom for a walk?
Poor little guy!
A little love:
We measured him today. I can’t remember how big he is… but I’d say a little bit bigger than Maggie, who is wearing 18-24 month clothes, mostly.
The beach ball was fun for a little bit. He liked to put his face into it. (We didn’t fill it all the way to make it more dynamic)
Push!
Getting tired…
Sacked out (my back was very tired by the time he woke up!):
He can hold his own bottle… if he is laying down so he doesn’t have to lift it. (the glass bottles are fairly heavy)
82 – walking
88 – standing on the bench
91 – crawling… even on the rough, scratching ground
I haven’t actually read all of Rachel’s posts so forgive me if I repeat some things.
Yesterday we visited Jordan in the morning for the second time. He was much more interactive and playful. The social worker brought him out in a stroller. We sat on a swinging bench and played with him. He loves to be tickled and has such a big wide mouth laugh, his face lights up like the sun. He loves to touch and be touched. When he was in the stroller we sat him up and he would take my hand and play with it for a long time. Bumping his face against it and waving around. It’s a good game to play because he can’t put his fingers in his mouth when he is holding my hand. His play is simple and repetetive for a two year old, he does things you would expect a baby to do. I expect he would seem somewhat scary or abnormal to some people because he acts younger than he is. But I see a little boy who loves to be played with and loved on and is affectionate back. It’s important to remember that God made Jordan who he is and as much as we hope he will learn and progess quickly when we get him home, we love him just as he is.
They seem to use strollers alot at the orphange. I was surprised when they put him in the stroller to take him from the room we fed him in to his crib. I like to carry my kids and not mess with a stroller as often as I can. Partially because strollers are a pain and partially because I like to carry my kids around and keep them close to me. I wonder if they use the strollers so that they are less likely to drop the kids. I could see that being a policy at government run place.
In the afternoon we napped and then went shopping with Nina. She showed us what to buy to make Musaka and Shopska salad. She is very friendly, giving Rachel a hug and saying, “My Friend!” We went to an internet cafe while she took the groceries home to skype. (and drink more tea, yum!) When we got back to the apartment Nina’s in laws were here and they were all cooking up a storm. Rachel got involved and learned the tricks to making a good Musaka while I talked to Nina’s father in law and watched the kids being silly. Dinner was delicious and it was fascinating to watch a Bulgarian family interacting. Dinner here has a little different protocol then at home. You don’t put all the food on the table at once but bring it out slowly and eat for a long time. We drank a local brandy that is VERY strong and white wine. We laughed a lot as we tried to communicate and share experiences. The kids were hilarious! We made paper airplanes for them. (Added by Rachel: Tiko said, “I am not engineer. But I am secret airplane maker. Do not watch and take my secrets!” Then he proceeded to make a paper airplane, with many furtive glances at Brian and accusing him of stealing his secrets. haha!) They played horsy with Rachel and Nina, did wheelbarrow races and pretended to be a race car (lightning Mcqueen!). We had a great time and I am so glad we got to experience a bit of genuine family life.
Today we see Jordan in the morning and then will probably do a bit of sight seeing. It is a beautiful place we are in and I look forward to seeing more of it. I am also very home sick for my girls. It’s hard to be away from them now and it will hard to go home and leave my son half way around the world. We will come for you as soon as we can Jordan!
Wednesday: by Rachel
Notary visit downtown
Jordan visit: donation, donation receipt, donation thank you, visit, room, staff, laughter
Walk downtown with Tiko: military museum, cathedral, shops, sea gardens, snack, talk of disabilities, market, bus ride home (Not expensive! Very cheap today!)
It’s been a good day today. When I think of how long it is before I am home, the days seem much too long. But if I focus on only one day, then it is not as hard to be away and I even wish I could spend more time with our new friends here. (Nina, Tiko and family)
This morning we were picked up a little earlier and we went downtown to a notary. Finding the right place was interesting… the roads here do not remotely make square blocks. THey are all shapes and sizes! The roads are also very narrow, but that doesn’t stop people from parking all down them. I am glad we were not driving… I would have knocked off a few mirrors at least! Once we were in the right area, Dmitry’s parking job was very impressive. He fit his van into a space that I thought was shorter than the van (parallel parked).
Today we had several documents to sign. Dmitry had read/translated them to us already yesterday. For Jordan, we had a paper to sign accepting his referral and acknowledging that we understand his physical, mental, emotional, etc. condition. We signed a power of attorney that will allow Elena and Chevdar to represent us for adoption proceedings. We signed a document that included a statement that this adoption will be final and never revoked, even if American law allows it. We also prepared and signed the initial documents for adopting Vince. We have NOT made a decision about this, but we got them signed and notarized while we were at the notary to save time. They will give us the documents to bring home/tear up if we decide we are not adopting Vince. We did not have to pay the notary fee, which I was grateful for: it was about $110 equivalent.
Next, we drove to the orphanage for our visit. The notary took a long time, so we got there later… about 10:45. We brought the cash to the orphanage today for the donation. We received a receipt for the money (equivalent to about $1000). We gave them permission to buy whatever is most necessary and urgent for the orphanage. It will likely be diapers, detergent or medicine. Once the purchases are made, they will send a detailed invoice with all purchases and amounts to Elena. Elena will translate it for us and send it to us. We look forward to sharing the details with you!
We stood in the hallway with the accountant, Elena and somebody else and the lady from the orphanage offered her sincere thanks. We told her the money is from our church and she repeated how grateful they are. So, from the other side of the ocean, the other side of the world, a large house of many orphans sends their thanks.
When Jordan was brought to us in a stroller, he was crying. The lady who brought him explained that he had been asleep and she had waken him up for our visit. Awww, poor guy! I wonder if he normally has a nap in the morning every day? I think he naps in the afternoon too… or perhaps he fell asleep this morning because he was extra tired. We don’t know.
How do you comfort a child who does not know a mother? What do you do for a son who really just needs to go back to his crib, but instead is supposed to visit with a couple strangers? I picked him up from the stroller and bounced him as I held him and we all walked outside. He seems to like bouncing and he stopped crying. He was pretty out of sorts for all of our visit, but it was sweet to see our son again and to just spend time with him. His lunch is always at 12pm and they brought ground meat and sauce in a bottle for today. I was surprised when I saw the bottle…. it used to be a vodka bottle! Ha! I guess a glass bottle from vodka is just as useful, but it was a little weird to have baby food in.
He fell asleep as he was eating again. Today was the day we got to see his room. So, I gently carried him to his room, which is just off the play yard where we had been every day! A little girl was crying ignored in her crib, a few other children were asleep, one was falling asleep as she drank a bottle propped up on a blanket, a bigger boy with some unknown special needs was playing with a toy in a large crib… and I laid Jordan down in his. The room is very clean and comfortable. The sheets are clean and there are some toys hooked to different cribs. The cribs are smaller than standard US cribs… which makes sense. Cribs in the US are MUCH bigger than babies and toddlers!!!! 🙂 Our impression was one of a well run, a kindly run home for children.
We have had an interesting development of our understanding of orphanages. We have seen so much that is good about orphanages as an option for orphan care. Here at this baby orphanage, there are good playgrounds, pretty good clothes, there’s healthy food and they are warm and tended. A little girl who has hydrocephalus has had a shunt surgery and Jordan was recently on antibiotics for a cold, so we know they get medical care. We know they are heavily monitored by the government to hold to rules. We found ourselves thinking… this is not a bad place! But you know what? We realized that we have not yet heard any laughter. The children don’t seem to know how to play. They don’t smile at peekaboo. The smiles I have seen have been a response to Chevdar’s smiles and talking with them in Bulgarian. These orphans are hungry for a family…. starving for a family. No amount of food or a roof over your head or kind staff are a replacement for family.
Speaking of the staff, we were greatly impressed with and very grateful for the staff today!!! I think they would agree that the children need families, not just staff. They genuinely love the children and wish for better things for them. (They have not said this, but they don’t need to) When we lay down Jordan, we spoke briefly with a caretaker and we wanted to take a picture of staff who care for Jordan. We want a picture for his memory book. Well, as we were leaving, she called after us and told us to wait… she started rapping on windows and calling people and pretty soon, a whole crowd of caretakers were coming, picking up half-sleeping Jordan and trooping outside for a group photo! They had big smiles for us and were so happy to see us loving Jordan. I danced away from the orphanage today, knowing that these women would be caring for him.
Finally…. whew, this post is long and I am tired! Finally, we left the orphanage about 12:30. We called Tiko, Nina’s father in law, and we were dropped off downtown by the big cathedral. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but Tiko is disabled. His right arm appears to be very affected by cerebral palsy and he has a hard time using his right hand and arm. He took us on a long walk down to the sea, showing us different landmarks along the way, including where his house used to be where he was born, and the house where he grew up until he married. We stopped in the Sea Garden and ate fresh french fries covered with crumbled white cheese (like feta). We talked awhile and he told us how he had been given a wrong medicine when he was very young (a baby?) and it was a near death experience. He could not move his arm from behind his back and he was unable to run or jump. His mother was very proactive, leaving career and everything to care for him. She pushed to have him allowed in “normal school” and he overcame many difficulties, learning to walk better and use his hand much more. He went to college, worked for over 10 years and retired at some point with a pension. When communism fell, his pension has slowly reduced to about $70/month. They get another $500/month from renting their old flat in town. He does not like that he has to struggle… he says he is not “poor” but he wishes he had more. (He and his wife live with their daughter.)
We talked a little about how we love Jordan just how God made him and commented on how so many children with Down Syndrome are aborted in the US, which is a tragedy and travesty. He was quiet for awhile… thinking. (Quiet for Tiko is something! He is a funny, completely unique individual who we are blessed to have met.) Then he said something like, “I cannot imagine somebody coming so far for a child with a problem like this.” He admired that we are doing this, as others have done before. We are only following GOd step by step and we are being blessed so much… it is not something so special about us. I wonder how much social stigma, how much teasing and difficulty he has faced because of his disability. I wonder if our adopting Jordan is a glimpse of a bit of love for him too, a person with a different disability. He did not get put in an orphanage or asylum for the handicapped like so many do here. He knows that a child with a disability… is still a child. I don’t know if he is a Christian, but I know God has purpose for us here… and for Tiko. He has already blessed us so much by being a friend and older brother to us here.
We walked to a market where we bought a few trinkets for people back home and said goodbye to Tiko. We waited at a bus stop for a bus back to our flat. A cab driver tried to get us to hire him, but we didn’t. A minute later, I heard him, speaking in English speak to nobody nice and loud, “Not expensive! Very cheap today!”. We still didn’t hire him.
All is well and I’m going to check the photos now so I will be ready to upload when we eat dinner where there is internet. Love you all and we miss our girls so much! We are very much looking forward to coming home! Family, we would like to make you musaka and shopska salad, show you pictures and talk of our trip. I think a few friends might be interested in joining us too, but I don’t know hard it would be to coordinate? But we are blogging much, so nobody is missing out completely!
Goodnight for now!
Shopska salad:
Making airplanes by secret methods:
Notary office stair door:
The whole troup going outside with groggy Jordan:
Standing up:
Reaching to bang his noisy plastic piece on the ground. (We brought a bit of noisy plastic, which he likes):
Falling asleep as he eats, trying to stare at Mama… and slowly losing the battle:
carrying sleeping toddler to bed:
Jordan in his crib:
Movie 110 (a happy moment)
These will come later when we are somewhere with better internet connection than this restaurant…..
Last night’s dinner with Nina, Teodore, Misha and Tiko
Looking at pictures last night
Massage
Plans for today (cooking Musaka and Shopska)
Internet this morning – read emails, comments and uploaded a couple videos… more to come
Today’s visit with Jordan: nicknames, donation update, laughs, camera battery and room visit, and attachment/lunch
Home for nap – hooray!
This blog post will be a little less cohesive, because I am in a hurry again and I am groggy from a beautiful 2 hour nap. (I am still not sleeping long enough at night, though I sleep well when I am sleeping… if that makes sense)
Last night Nina, our hostess, made us dinner. Her husband and brother are away on a business trip together. Her father-in-law came over just before dinner and we were able to get on the internet and post yesterday’s blog with pictures before dinner. (Tonight, we will go to internet cafe) He speaks more English than Nina. We missed Skype with the girls last night and that was hard. We did get a GSM phone card for the GSM phone that Brian’s coworker lent us and talked briefly with my mom.
Nina made us a fried egg, freshly made cabbage salad, french fries (from the store like we buy from the freezer section), and slices of sausage. We had plum juice. None of the drinks here are cold, but are room temperature. Teo is five and is especially obnoxious and naughty. Little sister Misha is three and better behaved, and Teo is happy to tease her. No translation is needed to understand their sibling relationship. 🙂 Tiko, Nina’s father-in-law asked us why we were adopting from here and we tried to explain. We were glad to eat a more home-style dinner after eating so much food out.
Nina explained that she went to school for three years to become a massage therapist. She offered me a massage after dinner. TIko showed us many pictures of their family while Nina hung a curtain and after the kids and Tiko left, I got a very nice massage. Ahhhhh. We talked over dinner (rewinding a bit) and Nina will be teaching me to cook Musaka (accent on the last “A”) and Shopska salad this afternoon. (accent on the “O”) We will go to the grocery soon. I hope we are not too long in cooking, because I wish to skype before we go to bed. Perhaps when the Musaka is in the oven???
This morning, we asked Dmitry to pick us up early, which he did, and we were able to check our email, read comments on the blog and send a short email to our girls. We also managed to get a couple videos uploaded to our youtube. We will add more and post links on the blog soon. Please leave us comments on the blog- this blog is our family journal and we will enjoy looking back over it.
Today’s visit with Jordan showed us that Jordan is able to be much more social than we thought yesterday. We got many laughs… he loves to be tickled! He encouraged the game of tickling, “talked” with us much more and was very social for about half an hour. Then he was tired and prefered to be in his stroller and quieter. It was a very good visit. He allowed us to snuggle him for a little bit, but he doesn’t stand that for long. He sucked his fingers very little during the first half of the visit, but the more tired he was, the more he sucked on them. He was nearly nodding off before it was time for lunch. Lunch was chicken and potato soup.
Our camera battery died (oops!) so we did not visit his room to take pictures today (where he sleeps) and will do that tomorrow. We learned that his nicknames are Dancho and Donnie, which are both short names for Jordan. Sometimes he is called Jordani. Cute! Regarding attachment, yesterday I thought he had very little social development. Today showed that he is better than I thought. We saw two of his caretakers today (as well as his social worker) and he does not reach for them or prefer us either. So my first description would be that although he likes people, he is “unattached.” Learning about family will be something I am only too happy to teach him.
We asked about what would be best for your donation to the orphanage. It is $1000USD. They said their most pressing need is for more disposable diapers and for detergents. We talked about it, and they can get the best rate for these things by purchasing them through a supplier. We decided to donate the money directly to the orphanage (of which they will give us a detailed receipt of what it was for). They are going to try and have the supplies delivered by Friday so that we can take a picture of them for our sponsors. It is possible that it won’t be there in time (they will make the order today) but I hope that all the sponsors agree that getting more supplies is worth it even if we don’t get to see what is purchased. To be sure, there are MANY diapers and MUCH soap being used in a home of hundreds of babies and toddlers!!!
After our visit, we took a much needed nap. I will add pictures below and hopefully links to video too, depending on the internet connection. I think you will see a big difference in behavior from day 1 to day 2.
Brian, Me, Tiko, Nina and kids (Misha and Teodore)
Loving Papa:
Worn out!
Videos from day 1:
First meeting in director’s office. He was very nervous and reserved:
Outside… maybe he can crawl? He doesn’t seem to want to…
About the apartment vs. the resort.
About meeting Jordan.
About Vince.
About night sounds.
And then I will follow with a narration of pictures.
Obviously, meeting Jordan is the most exciting subject so I will write about it last so that I don’t lose momentum in my writing.
We visited the resort where our team is staying. I can see now why they felt uncomfortable leaving us at our little apartment. They were able to get a deal at a fabulous resort… it is really very nice and fancy and they felt bad to be leaving us at a poor apartment. Although we miss the chance at a special vacation with many pools and other accomodations, we still prefer the apartment. We will try to explain to Elena better tomorrow that we know already what it feels like to be a tourist. But we do not know what it is like to live here in Bulgaria. We want to know more about the people here… at their homes with their families, not what it is like to be a pampered tourist.
We are being very pampered just the same. Our hostess Nina showed up after we had eaten a modest breakfast of bread, feta cheese and juice that we had bought from the supermarket with fried bread (like french toast), jelly, cherry juice and some cinnamon bread. We hadn’t had a chance to talk with her before, so we didn’t know she was planning on feeding us! We are thrilled, though and look forward to dinner tonight at 7pm. I hope to have time to post this blog tonight (your morning) but will post it tomorrow if we do not have time.
I slept better last night; sleeping from 8:30pm until almost 4am… and then falling asleep again for 45 minutes at 5:30. I am a little tired, but I don’t feel “jet lagged.” When I woke up at 4 this morning, I listed to the sounds coming through our open window as I rested. There were the early morning birds singing out their hearts as they flew around… like birds at home, but with different songs. There were roosters that talked with each other, thankfully not very close. The loudest sound that came and went were the dogs. Sure, there were occasional cat meows and howls, but the dogs when they fought in the night are very loud. People here have dogs for pets, but there are also many stray dogs. They barked and growled… climaxing in what sounded more like a roar than a growl. It was very strange to hear these sounds coming from what must have been dogs. They roared deeply and loudly and eventually must have parted ways again.
We heard from the MOJ today about whether we would be allowed to visit Vince. They did not give us permission to visit him, because we do not have an official referral. However, they made a compromise and said that either Elena or Chevdar (her husband and director of their agency) would be permitted to visit, ask questions, and take pictures/video on our behalf. So on Friday one of them will visit him on our way back to where we fly out of. This will make our travel significantly longer that day, but unless we decide we are not adopting him, then it is very much worth it. We do not fly out until Sunday morning early.
We feel the great weight of this decision regarding Vince. It is no easy matter to decide to adopt a second child whom you know less about and whom you do not get to meet. We know that he is not growing or learning as well as Jordan and we do not know why. Elena suggested it is because he was premature, but since he is 3 1/2 years old, that seems unlikely. But what we really feel the need for, is the Lord’s guidance. We did not feel personally capable of providing for two children before… but God clearly led us to both James and Jordan and told us that He would provide us with what we need. Then the Lord took James home to him. We have not had time to seek His will about Vince yet… we sometimes feel confident that we should and sometimes feel more comfortable and settled on focusing on Jordan (though how hard it is to reject a child, for any reason!). Please pray for us that our Father and Shepherd would guide us in His way. We are encouraged to take our time making the decision, even waiting until we have gone home. We hope to decide before we leave on Sunday, though, as we do not want to make Jordan wait at all more than we must. There is NO doubt in our minds or hearts that Jordan is meant to be our son.
And on to meeting our boy! Brian and I were both shaking as we drove to our visit today and even as we left again. It was an incredible experience to be permitted to meet our future son, here on the other side of the world. Everybody we met, from the director to the orphanage staff were very kind and very caring. We were very encouraged by this, since Jordan will be remaining here for another 6 months until we are clear to bring him home.
We met the director and first learned more about James’ death as we sat in her office. When they noticed the symptoms, they brought him straight to a children’s hospital. They found that his blood sugars were very off (Type A diabetes) and within an hour, he had passed away. They mentioned that he was more succeptible to diabetes because of his Down Syndrome, but I don’t think this is true. (Down Syndrome is less understood here) Before you feel upset with the orphanage staff, I believe that childhood diabetes is difficult to spot even when there is a parent paying a healthy amount of attention to a child. I need to research this, but I believe lethargy and increased urination are some of the first signs… and for a child who often gets colds and who is part of an orphanage… it would be easy to think it was just a cold or something else. I cried a little and we offered a printout that I made that has James’ picture on it and is a thank you to them for all their every day care to the children.
Next, she said that they were going to get Jordan for us. Oh, how impossible it seemed, that we would actually see a child on this great trip! We had a few moments to ask questions while we waited and I also gave a small gift to the director and handed her a bag full of gifts for the staff. We also brought the gifts of clothing, diaper cream, and cloth diapers. We didn’t think they would want the cloth diapers, but when she saw them she said, “Da, Da” and something about how this kind of diaper is very good. Hooray! We will bring more diapers on our second trip as we can support an orphanage in China when we order diapers from them… and they will pack into a suitcase nicely to give to the orphanage. Those of you who have offered to pass on your used diapers… we will have to find a time to meet. (The diapers we buy are from assuntastore.com which may be out of stock right now, but they were going to make a new order soon.)
When Jordan came, we forgot to ask what they would like us to purchase with the donated money we have brought. So, we will ask that tomorrow and will share with you what we purchase. Some of the money we will donate directly to the orphanage account for them to buy things themselves, since it’s likely they can get many of their consumables cheaper wholesale.
Then there he was. He is a handsome little boy who looks very little like his referral photo. He is lightweight, but does not feel malnourished. He has a bad haircut and oversized shoes, but he was dressed very nicely. They had put him in cute blue overalls, nice brown shoes and a t-shirt. He also had a vest put on for going outside. He didn’t seem very happy about being set onto our lap, but he was very quiet.
He spends most of his time quietly in his own world, sucking constantly on his fingers, leaving them soggy and almost with sores from the wetness. He has two front teeth, top and bottom, and most of his four first molars. He found us interesting, I think and although he was not very reactive to our attempts at being interesting and cute, he did watch us and mimic us a little bit. We aren’t worried about this… he is much like a one-year-old and he has very normal behaviors for a child living in an orphanage. Being in a family where his actions are greeted with reactions from his parents and siblings all day instead of being alone so much, will slowly bring his social awareness to life.
He can stand leaning on something quite well… just like a child standing in a crib. He sits very well and got on his hands and knees and rocked too. He has a few self-stimulation behaviors… chewing on his hands, tapping his head with his fingers, a little bit of humming, and when we gave him a slinky, he finally found a toy that was interesting to him. He held it up to his face and bounced it lightly against his lips as he watched it. Truly, slinkies can cross all language barriers. Our first guess is that he is left-handed. Pappy, we thought you’d be glad to hear that!
We visited in the office a little and then spent at least an hour outside. There is a very nice playground there. (The house holds hundreds of children, age 0-3. Some are adopatable and others are there just like foster children in the US, hoping to go back to their parents.) We met Jordan around 10:30am and we visited until 12pm. At that time, we were permitted to feed him! We went up to a visiting room (I’ll have to talk about the tiny elevator with no door on it sometime later) and he sat in a high chair and i fed him a warm bottle of soup. He refuses to use a spoon… which I was not surprised to hear. He drank without sounds of aspirating (breathing the food), which I was happy for. He did choke on it a little…. but that was because he was falling asleep! We tired the little guy out! The bottle contained a delicious smelling soup of beans, bread, sausage… it smelled like a savory stew. They also make soups of chicken and other things that they puree into very small pieces, although it’s not smooth, to feed with the bottles. Elena says they have three meals and two snacks per day, per the rules of the MOJ, making sure to get a balanced diet, so that is good to hear. (yogurt, fruit, fish, etc.)
I picked him up after he finished his dinner and he stayed asleep, so I was happy to hold him until I handed him to a caretaker to take back to his room. Tomorrow we will be permitted to see where he sleeps. We were also allowed to give him the photo album and the little dog… although I don’t know how much he’ll play with it. They said they’d take one of the family photos out and hang it by/over his crib so that he’d see it more.
We love our handsome little boy so much and he is going to be such a blessing to us and to our daughters.
We have some great videos as well as the pictures, but they are too large to upload here. We will share them when we get home!
Our cool old van:
The pool at the hotel on Saturday:
Hemedex. Say it out loud.:
Meeting Magdalena (Magi):
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Our comfy bedroom:
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Very first meeting:
Very first smile:
Feeling Mama’s face:
Elena and Chevdar are so wonderful and they love the children!!!:
Just one playground:
Another little smile when we got his soggy fingers out of his mouth long enough for a bit of a walk:
Falling asleep at lunchtime.
Mama is very much in love. (Papa too!)
Mom – it says we can’t talk with you on skype yet. We cannot do more on the internet tonight. Please give our love to the girls and send us an email. We will check it in the morning (your night). Love you!
Sitting in a restaurant with wi fi on Sunday evening:
I am sitting on a European bed in a European flat with a beautiful view right now. Brian is reading Harry Potter and I just finished (somewhat) organizing the orphanage donation of clothes and diaper cream that we brought with us. I also put together a few gifts for our hosts and facilitators.
It is Sunday about 6pm… I just realized that we didn’t arrange to use the internet at the hotel tonight, so we won’t get to call our girls. 🙁 Maybe when we walk to get dinner we will find an internet cafe? I don’t know. The flat we are in is very small and our facilitators were not sure they wanted to leave us here, because it is very “basic.” Our hostess seems very kind and we are glad to be away from fancy hotels for now. We will move to the hotel only if things don’t work out… the accomodations are quite sufficient. I don’t know where the our hosts will sleep, though!
This morning we had something called hemendex for breakfast. You know what that is. Think. Ok, say hemendex out loud. What breakfast dish sounds like hemendex?
That’s it! Ham and eggs! It was wonderful. Brian had scrambled eggs with bacon in it. We all had toast (no butter!) and a hot drink. (tea, milk) Brian and I also ordered fresh orange juice. And it was fresh! So thick and orangy on top and just juice on the bottom. Yum!
From the hotel, we drove to my parents’ friends home (they are also friends of my parents’ church). We got most of the way there and then Dmitry, who was driving us, got out and found a cab who led us the rest of the way. Magi and her husband live in a nice home with one of the beautiful, lush gardens that are common here. I think everybody grows tomatoes and grapes! (The climate here is very similar to our home in the NW, but a bit warmer) We briefly met Magi’s mother in law. Magi’s husband was away at a church, but Magi stayed home to meet us. She led us inside and quickly set cake and bonitsa and coke in front of us… ooof, but we had just eaten a huge breakfast! We ate a little and talked a little. Brian helped Magi with something on her computer that we had come to do and we opened the suitcase full of gifts.
I wish I had a picture of Magi’s face when she saw what was inside. She had her hands by her cheeks and said something like, “A whole SUITCASE!? I meant I would like one box of cold medicine!” I laughed and said that my parents and church wanted to bless her and that she should share with her congregation. She was especially pleased to see the insulin needles. She was pretty astonished at the size of the gift and we took our leave soon after with smiles on our faces. She ran out to us just before we drove away with a gift for us of two beautiful new tablecloths.
After visiting Magi, we drove back to the hotel to pick up Chevdar and Elena and continued towards our final destination. The road was curvy after awhile as we went over the “mountain range” which would be called hills in Oregon. Just the same, there are hairpin turns regularly as the builders didn’t choose to use bridgework. I got very carsick, despite taking two dramamine. We stopped after awhile for lunch.
I want to note here, that I have been very good at going with the flow on this trip. I LIKE to have everything very controlled and organized and understood. Very little of that can happen or has happened! During the drive today, our Dmitry and Elena chatted long and often and I tried to rest and keep my stomach down. We stopped in a gravel parking lot for awhile and eventually parked. My clever senses perceived that there were two restaurants and that it was lunchtime. Lo and behold, despite them not telling me, I knew what we were doing! hehe
Lunch, even at little restaurants have courses. Salad, soup, main dish. I ordered white bread. Brian got a cucumber and tomato “salad” (sliced fresh cucumber and tomatoes) and some sausage. The others got chicken noodle soup with their salad and bread. Feeling a bit better, we drove the last hour to our sons’ hometown. It is a very large town… a city, right on the Sea and there are many tourists here. It is gorgeous, with the blue skies, red slate rooves and ocean stretching away. We stopped and we withdrew some local money from an atm and walked around briefly. Then we headed to our host home!
After calling twice to get help with directions, Nina met us in the street waving hello. She speaks some English, but it is very little. Her 3 year old daughter Misha was woken up by our noisy arrival and her son was at her mom’s house. Her son is 5… I don’t remember his name. Her husband is not at home. We didn’t try to visit right away, as her Enlish is very limited. She made up our bed and headed to her mom’s house. I wonder if she is going to stay there while we are here? As I said before, it is a very basic flat. Ther is a tiny kitchen, tiny bathroom, two bedrooms (only one with two twin beds pushe together) and a closet. The sheets are clean, it doesn’t smell here and the only thing I’m worried about is where are they and their children going to sleep since we have their beds!? I hope that having us is not something they regret! We have arranged to pay them a little for each day’s stay, so hopefully that is a blessing to them.
We are grateful that our facilitator was willing to let us deviate from her usual arrangements so we can stay here. We wished to meet another Bulgarian family, we wanted to get away from tourist areas, and we wanted to show the love of Jesus. I pray that God would meet us here, guide us through each day, and help us to love others, big bumbling Americans who don’t know the language that we are.
Well, we are going to go on a real adventure now! We are going to venture out with NO guide or translator! We’re going to walk to a restaurant and maybe the supermarket. I hope I don’t fall asleep on my feet. I am sooooooo tired. Feels like I’ve had a cranky newborn for a few weeks.
Tomorrow we get picked up at 9:45am to go to the orphanage! I am very nervous and excited about it! We will get to meet the director of the orphanage, possibly for the only time. That makes me anxious, because there is so much I want to ask and to know and there’s no way I’m going to remember half of it, much less have time to ask and have it translated. I could spend a week of days with her and I imagine we’ll get an hour or less. And then…. and then, the part that makes me so very excited… we will meet our son Jordan! I have a bag packed with a few toys and some Gerber puff snacks to help break the ice. We’ll see if he likes them… we’ll bring more when we bring him home if he does. 🙂
I love you, Anna and Maggie! We miss you so much and hope you are having a nice time with Grandma and Grandpa. We will be home after seven more sleeps!
mostly.
