My arms (and womb) were full of blessing that day in December last year!
Written rushed while my blessings played and cried and interrupted around me. 🙂 Not proof read or edited. Hopefully the point comes across anyway.
Somebody asked me a question yesterday about family planning. Many of the blogs that I love are written by mothers of large families… and several of them take some time to explain why they do not practice family planning of any sort. (Birth control, natural family planning, surgical sterilization, etc.) Honestly, they’ve been a bit of a challenge to read, because the heart of these women as they submit themselves to God even in big stuff is really inspiring. And they repeatedly and without reserve call children blessings. (What a refreshing perspective in today’s culture of considering children distractions and burdens!) Probably the biggest thing for me was thinking over this line, “I wouldn’t want to miss out on any of my children!” You know, by not letting them be conceived and born. You certainly wouldn’t want to un-make them! What a horrible thought!
Anyway, back to the question. My friend knows that we DO still practice family planning and that we think it’s the right thing for us to be doing. She wondered if I knew of any blogs out there that talked about submitting to God and honoring Him WHILE practicing family planning. (and I do NOT mean family planning like Planned Parenthood means. Killing a child, no matter how small, is just plain wrong.) I don’t know of any blogs… so decided to sit down and write a post on the subject. Carolyn just started fussing, so we shall see if I can. 🙂
I guess what it comes down to, for me/us, is the attitude of your heart. Never should we presume to have more control over our lives than we really do. God cares about us and is involved intimately in our lives. He is truly working all things together for the good of those who love Him. (Romans 8:28) I KNOW He is present and active in my life. I know his tenderness and love for me. I know that he cares even about the mundane things. And I know that He is all-powerful. Yes, I believe in a sovereign God. Pretty mind-blowing, really.
I wish I had more Bible knowledge to back this post up with, but I don’t. So I’ll share the pieces I have and otherwise just share from my heart. Galatians 6:5 tells us we should bear our own burden. (Right after telling us to help others with their burdens) And there seems to be a general attitude in the Bible to be responsible and studied and knowledgeable. (Acts 17:11 – the verse about Bereans studying the Scripture, most of Acts speaks of being wise and getting wisdom) Now, no knowledge supercedes our attitude towards one another… (1 Corinthians 13:2)
I know I’m rambling, but I”m trying to get somewhere.
So we are supposed to be wise and we are supposed to trust God. That seems to be a bit of a dichotomy. Am I using that word right? It seems like using our finite, incomplete, human wisdom is in opposition to trusting God. But God commands us to do both.
Trust Him. Know you are weak and He is strong.
Be wise. Be responsible for yourself.
So which is it? I think it comes down to the attitude of your heart. I trust God to be in control of our family no matter what I do. No, I do more. I PRAY that God would be in control of our family, changing us and molding us and even growing or not growing us according to His perfect will. There is no doubt in my mind that the opening or closing of a woman’s womb is 100% within God’s control if He wishes. There are plenty of examples in the Bible of that.
I’ll sum up my position – that of trusting God while still practicing family planning – with our personal example:
Brian and I are doing our best to be wise about our family. We know we are stretched beyond what we’re comfortable with right now. And it’s been kinda hard. And we feel strained to meet the needs of our children. It does not seem wise to add to our family right now. It seems like it would compromise our parenting too far. What seems wise is to wait a few years and focus on the children we have now. To love them, raise them… honestly, to try and catch up with them a bit. Not that we’ll ever feel caught up, but we need to have our head, at least, above the water. And so we will practice family planning for the time being, actively trying to prevent another pregnancy.
But I am not as big as God. And I trust that He hears my prayers. I pray that He will overwhelm my efforts to prevent a pregnancy if a pregnancy is what is best for us. I believe He is that big. That we can exercise control over our lives and yet trust Him to override us. I will try to control my body’s fertility similar to the way I try to control my body’s weight and health. The way I try to control our finances and plan for our future. We’ll do the best we can… and we’ll trust God with the rest.
I do not believe that I am limiting God by limiting my family size. I do not believe that I am trusting God less by limiting our family size. And although I want every single child that God has for me… I don’t believe that letting myself get pregnant every time that it’s possible (because TMI or not, we are not practicing abstinence) is necessarily what God wants. Can I have MORE children than God wants for me? I think so.
Ok! Now it’s time to get myself dressed (because although all of my children are fed and dressed, I haven’t gotten that far myself – haha!) and pack some lunches, because we’re going to try and visit Brian at work today for lunch!
Holding my surprise blessing from God. Unplanned. Hard work. Wonderful!!!
Edited to add other blogs about family planning:
From a Catholic perspective
About the attitude towards children, but mostly about being pro-life or pro-choice.
