How to: Homemade Mayonnaise

This blog is just keeping it real, folks. The beautiful model in the pictures, the random stuff in my kitchen, and my truly witty humor. Hope you like mayo!

I had the food we needed for sandwiches. Lunchmeat sandwiches, chicken sandwiches, other random combination sandwiches… but I had no mayo. And you’ll recall that I’m early first trimester and feeling like food has a rather nasty personality towards me right now. So, I wasn’t really feeling like going to the grocery. “I wonder if I can make mayo?,” I thought to myself. So I googled that.

I found LOTS of recipes where making mayonnaise looks really hard and tricky. Then I found this:

That’s what I’m talking about! A “quick” recipe where the instructive video is only two minutes long. And where the man doesn’t separate the yolk, because what do you do with egg whites anyway? My kinda recipe for sure.

So here’s my photojournal of making mayo out of common household ingredients:

The ingredients on my counter: (no, you don’t need two stale crescent rolls or a half-eaten graham cracker for the recipe)

Cheap olive oil from Cash n Carry (any oil will do), salt, eggs, lemon juice, dry mustard (can use regular mustard too) and vinegar

My recipe:
1 egg
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon dry mustard
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon white vinegar
1 cup oil (I used cheap olive oil from cash n carry – it was $12.99 for a gallon. Nowhere on this jug does it say “cold pressed, first press” or any other such compliment… haha)

Step 1: Look slightly nauseated like you have morning sickness while measuring everything but the oil into a jar or other tall-sided container.

Step 2: Take a picture, because you’re blogging.

Step 3: Use your nifty-wifty immersion blender to whip it together briefly. (I’ve heard some people use food processors or blenders instead.)

Step 4: Slowly drizzle in the oil as you continue blending. I recommend you use something that dribbles less than my one-cup measuring cup.

Step 5: Get serious with the blender for a few seconds when all the oil is in. Try to look like you’re crying for the picture. Crying for joy. (Almost decided not to post this blog thanks to my attractiveness being off the charts!)

Step 6: Admire your white, smooth, greasy mayo. You are now an accomplished chef. Thanks to me. (hehe) Eat a sandwich. This stuff looks and tastes just like… mayo. If you are a miracle whip fan, I’m sure you can adjust the lemon/vinegar/salt to make it more like that. Be grateful nobody is taking your picture any more. Take a nap.