(great)?(grand)?mother’s day

If you were to post a wanted ad for a mother it would read something like this:

Wanted:Healthy young woman with a big heart and infinite patience for lifetime career in a highly rewarding field. Must be capable of unconditional love and surviving without sleep for extended periods. High pain tolerance and tolerance for loud noises required. Must be determined, and unwilling to give up, even when faced with no compensation and difficult clients. Must have proven track record for dealing with frustrated and unreasonable people. Other required skills are: multi-tasking, self-motivation, leadership, making the tough decisions, learing new things, self-sacrifice, and speaking in gibberish.
Previous experience a plus but not necessary. On the job training provided as well as: eyes in the back of your head, hyper-senstive hearing, and cry/code breaking skills. Will master skills such as hugging, rocking, diaper changing, sining lullabys, cleaning playdo from the carpet, and removing bubble gum from hair.
No monetary compensation available but perks include hugs, kisses, giggles, smiles, christmas oraments made of stale macaroni, and many rewards in heaven.

To my amazing beautiful wife who keeps getting up night after night to feed our daughter, my ever patient mother who did not lock me in a barrel at age 2, and all the other special women in our lives, thank you, and Happy Mother’s day.