Today we got a little more clarity/words to go along with something we’ve understood just by experience for awhile.
Overloaded. (Jordan’s brains after too much fun) Photo compliment of google.
Example: Jordan got to go play outside today. (Thanks to my dad coming over to help! So glad he came. I needed that.) Jordan going outside is pretty awesome and today was the first time in several months (since the weather changed). He tromped all over the field, grabbing at the grass and watching the girls play and laugh. After about 20 minutes, he was whining and disorganized… wanting to go see the dogs but crying to go see the dogs. Dad brought him inside and he went into full meltdown mode and cried for a good five minutes where I couldn’t reach him.
It’s not a sad cry… or a mad cry… it’s a upset, nearing hysterical cry.
Eventually, by sitting in a quiet place with him with his favorite toy, he reconnected with me. I had tried doing a few things with him, but one of the most frustrating things about trying to help Jordan…. is that sometimes you can’t reach him to help him. So I sat next to him (feeling helpless) and looked for ways to help him. Eventually, he started rocking while he cried and I began to mimic the sounds he makes when he’s more relaxed and rocking. Immediately, his crying stopped and he watched me make “his” hum as he rocked. He never 100% recovered, but he did pretty good the rest of the day until he fell asleep on his face on the (hardwood) hall floor just before dinner. Poor guy!
I was NOT surprised that Jordan struggled after being outside for awhile. But I had trouble explaining it to dad. Sure, I’ve seen this play out over and over again any time Jordan does something new, but when I talked with Brian about it tonight – he was able to put words to it. (yay!)
Jordan having fun at the BEGINNING of the Christmas tree hunt.
New experiences and social interactions are taxing to Jordan. He has a limited (and growing) amount of resources with which to take in and process new experiences or social interactions. When his resources are gone…. when his learning muscle is shaky with fatigue, he cries. What else would you do? 🙂 It’s a lot like the spoon theory, but with a mental/emotional bone. When I’ve been at a party for awhile…. or when I’ve been studying something for an hour straight… I just can’t DO it any more. I have to go take a break and do something totally unrelated and relaxing while my brain recuperates.
When Jordan came home…. for the first six months, he was constantly in “checked out” mode. EVERYTHING was too hard for him. We actually had freedom to go out and do more with him during this time, because it made no difference. Checked out is checked out. I remember those first cracks where he started interacting with us and his environment for more than a few minutes at a time. Wow – he has learned so, so much since then. His resources continue to increase and he participates more and more. It may seem backwards, but this actually makes it harder to take him out places. Because he’s taking stuff in, he’s not constantly checked out. So when he reaches his maximum input (which is more or less, depending on how “new” or stimulating it is), he is truly fried and upset and needs to come home and find a safe place. He is usually pretty miserable for awhile if we overdo things.
His first days home. The little cute bug shut out the world as much as he could.
I’m finding it hard…. no… I’m finding it restrictive. Not exactly hard. But I can’t do what I want to sometimes. And he is totally worth it. It’s a little hard, because most people don’t understand. Incidentally, that is one of the reasons I’m writing this blog post. Because lots of people who care about us and who care about Jordan read what I put up here so that they can be his and our best support possible. I love you!
What is this Christmas!? I want my own living room back! (haha – I don’t like the floor covered in clutter either, Jordan!)