From Confinement

Hello from self quarantine, self isolation, social distancing, stay home – stay healthy, or whatever other new vocabulary I’ve learned in the last month. Has it only been a month? I began hearing about something called the Coronavirus back in February or March… I remember, because my brother’s work trip to China was cancelled which was actually really helpful in making a birthday celebration for my dad successful. When was that? February 23rd. A week before that, we were at a highly crowded social dance. Less than 3 weeks later, (March 13th) we decided it was time for our family to lock down… and over that weekend, the schools started closing. Later, nonessential businesses closed, Brian started telecommuting, and here we are now… schools closed until next fall. Other than a few grocery trips and take-out restaurant orders, we’ve been home for four weeks.

So, what have we been doing?

Well, amazingly, an awful lot has not changed at all! There are still five children living here and our school year was not cancelled or even changed much. Art, Taekwon Do, and Ballet were our regular outings (besides visiting family and friends, running errands and so forth.). Art class stopped for the year, but ballet and taekwondo hardly missed a beat and switched over to live video classes! I am so impressed! The teachers have been wonderful. I’m a little worried that ballet might start back up again (in person) before we can lift our isolation… they are pushing for early opening, but I lean towards the conservative end of the isolation situation. But anyway, things are going really well right now and this is a situation that’s been best to take one single day at a time. More than usual.

Brian is growing a beard. He’s wanted one many times over the years, but he’s just not a particularly hairy man! But finally, at age 37, he has the necessary follicles for growing a handsome blond beard. Know something that’s surprising? Seventeen years ago, 37 sounded really up there. And now that we’re here… well, I’m still surprised how we are the mature, older-parent people now. Not parents of college kids or even high schoolers yet, but we have the confidence and experience that comes with so many more years alive. Interestingly…. it comes with an equal measure of being aware of how little we know. There are so many things that we can do now and deal with, on a practical level, intuitively and on autopilot that we couldn’t do at all early on. Managing the grocery-food thing for all these different people and needs, chores, homeschool, errands, lessons… it’s really an astronomical weight of impossible-to-remember-it-all-much-less-do-it-all dimensions, but we just keep doing “the next right thing” (Thanks, Frozen II!) and it’s been enough.

Anna is turning thirteen years old next week! She’s amazing. It’s amazing to watch her develop her gifts and interests. She’s exploding in her independent capabilities. Yes, the moodiness, intermittent frustration, and quite frequent groans are present as you might expect with a non-emancipated older child, but the resourcefulness, kindness, and curiosity are there too. She’s a lovely dancer, a wonderful painter, a great gift-giver, and thoughtful daughter. She can often be found cooking (and often even cleaning up!) and even more often can be found painting. If she’s not doing that, she’s reading… going through huge numbers of novels. Since the quarantine has started, she has discovered that I wasn’t making things up when I said that phone calls can be fun for kids her age. Just three phone calls (about one a week) so far, but I think over 6 hours logged between them.

Jordan is turning eleven soon and he’s doing fine. He’s a bit bored with being home all the time and he prefers to be alone in his room. We drag him out to eat and toilet and invite him to hang with us a few times a day, but he doesn’t usually last very long before wanting to go be in his space again. I’m looking forward to him being able to access ABA therapy again soon as things open up. Not that I really want the pace to pick up at all… but it’s a way to push him out of his shell successfully. He’s enjoyed the sunshine this week (so thankful for a break from the rain!) and will play in the grass and rocks for a long time, before signaling he’s ready to go back inside by being naughty… usually by eating things that are unsafe. (Now I’m the one rolling my eyes! It’s not limited just to teens.)

Maggie is ten years old and bright and eager as ever. She has strong curiosity, a strong sense of justice, strong food aversions, strong loves for things that are lovely and wild, and loves to get deep into invented adventures with Carrie. She has two garter snakes that are faring very well… she’s collected so many snakeskins from them over the winter. She also now has two Northern Alligator Lizards, but I’m growing concerned that they may not be eating well. Not sure. We may have to release them again. She is missing doing Taekwon Do in person, but is persevering to keep her skills up so that she can test up to the next belt as soon as we get back to class. She is a capable cook and made her first muffins the other day.

Phew – I’m getting tired. Let’s see if I can write a bit more before signing off.

Carrie is seven and you know that if a child is running toward you, it’s her. She doesn’t walk much… she’d much rather run. She loves to talk, snuggle, create, explore, play, and talk some more. She’s very smart and capable and is often the first done with her schoolwork. She loves playing Minecraft and is growing more competent in creating more elaborate creations. She also reads a great deal, though lately she’s decided that she prefers comics and does not like chapter books any more! Ah well, she’ll be back when she’s a little older and can enjoy some of our family’s favorite series.

Speaking of reading – since the quarantine started, when we need an hour of something “special” to cheer us up in the interminable sameness of each day, we’re reading the first book of The Lord of the Rings together out loud. It’s been nice. I also ordered a few craft supplies to make sure we’re able to keep creating. A few paints, two wood burners and a few wood things to make projects on.

Daniel turned seven years old this week! Hard to believe! He’s a funny kid – sometimes very intense (as one would expect from a kid with a hard background) and often very focused (as is unsurprising for a person with autism) and very much mobile. He’s not walking independently yet… he really resists letting go and walking without holding on. Brian and I have been too tired to add home therapies to our list, but he’s learning and able to go all over the house. He will walk eventually and he’s weight bearing significantly enough that his bone health should be fine. We were supposed to leave tomorrow (Easter Sunday!) to take him back east again for more treatment of his feet. Alas, that was all postponed to be rescheduled after COVID-19 calms down. He’s drawing and writing better – making endless little drawings of clocks, including the numbers, the cord, whether it’s AM or PM and other various details I never noticed before about clocks. He remembers how to spell things if he listens when you tell him… so I think it’s probably time to buckle down and try to teach him to read more formally. Not sure… he is not one for following instructions or sitting still, so that would be challenging!

Speaking of challenging, Brian and I struggle regularly (or you might say chronically) with fatigue. You know, for years. We know we’re extra tired if we get the body aches or I get migraines now too. It’s not unusual for me to not be able to function very much at all past early afternoon. Sometimes all I get is until lunchtime and then I limp through the rest of the day. Sometimes depression and/or anxiety kick my butt too. We’re not the giving up sort, though, so we just do what we can and it’s gotta be enough.

Since the new year, I’ve set myself a few personal goals. Since I was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome last fall and have learned more and gotten doctors’ advice, both my fitness and my healthy weight goals have become more important. The doctor’s orders for exercise combined with my now seven year history with depression means that I have been looking very seriously for how to be successful with this whole personal health thing. Last fall I went to physical therapy regularly and started Taekwondo. But in February, I got myself psyched up and set up for daily, sustainable exercise. I have a chart I made that I’m filling out and I’m rotating a careful 30-minute strength training routine with a 30-minute walk/jog. It’s set as higher priority than even homeschooling and I am doing one of these things about 6 days a week! I’m proud! I keep gaining weight also, which is putting pressure on already-fragile joints, so two weeks ago I made a reward chart for myself for some attainable food-related goals. Turns out, I’m money motivated, so I’m paying myself what I would have been paying to a physical therapist. It mostly keeps me from the need for a talking therapist too, so that’s $$ too. I’m only new to the food-related goals and no weight lost, but no weight gained, so I am content.

The money is partially motivating, because I am feeding some personal hobby interests with it! Leatherworking and home alchemy stuff mostly… like lotions and candles and stuff.

Okay. I have just a little time left and I want to watch an episode of a tv show. The kids are all having their screen time now and the boys are content… so – goodbye!

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